Careful planning makes life easier for maturing families.....

    This article was once again within the pages of one of the many newspapers I go through each day. The article I found to be one of interest embedded with a few helpful hints. Being involved with multi-generational families does not always have to be difficult, but it is one that needs to be paid attention to.
   "Instead of waiting for a crisis, Terry Perondi came up with a plan for her parents while they were still in reasonably good health.
    Ten years ago, she suggested that the older couple sell their two story home and buy a one story closer to her. They liked the idea, realizing that by living within spitting distance of their daughter, they could remain independent longer, surrounded by their own things."
    This was an idea, oh, almost two years ago that we posed to Robert's parents. We had even suggested to them that we could sell our home and buy a "duplex" or "mother-daughter home" which ever they thought they would enjoy more.
    Though they both have serious illnesses, arrangements for independent living for them was out of the question. They would be miserable in one of those places. They are not available, nor are they affordable for everyone.
    We would have made it work for their comfort, but it was not meant to be. They were very insistent on remaining in their own home. However, it does not mean that it would not work for other families.
   "About four years ago, she decided that four miles was not close enough and she moved within a mile of her parent's California home."
   "Mom still cooks and Dad drives and even mows his own lawn. As a result, Ms. Perondi does not consider herself a caregiver." After all, her parents are still doing quite well taking care of their own needs.
   "The first thing each morning, Ms. Perondi e-mails her folks. They answer when they awake. That way, nobody calls at a bad time or wakes them before they want to get up. Also I do not worry about Mom running to catch the phone call."
   "They e-mail throughout the day in addition to seeing each other daily. They walk, shop or have lunch together.
    This woman is very fortunate that her parents are in relatively good health and are able to take care of themselves. Many families are not as fortunate as she.
   As with any relationship, negotiation and the art of give and take are two of the most important tools to keep in your back pocket. Many an argument has been avoided by keeping these tools handy, where you can reach for them if they are needed.
   In this way you will be able to spend more time enjoying each other's company as opposed to being argumentative. Realizing it easier said than done, if you are able to plan ahead then the transition will go a little more smoothly. Something to think about.