One minute I’m sad. The next I’m anxious. Then I’m irritated or feeling overwhelmed. By the end of the day, I’m tired – and eating chocolate. (I’m talking like a lot of chocolate).

Normally I’m a happy, upbeat, optimistic person. But those few days each month I am short tempered, easily offended, and a little bit pissed.

Can you relate?

I’ve been working as a life coach focused on women’s empowerment and mid-life transitions for more than a decade. I’ve seen a few hormonal rollercoasters in my day. Happily, I’ve developed a toolbox of strategies you can use to help you make sense (and possibly even use) of yours.

In this week’s video coaching session, I’m going to help you harness the wisdom of your hormonal hissy fits. Press PLAY already, and hissy less.

Step 1: Check your stats.

Hormones are serious business, and when yours are out of whack they’ll make you seriously miserable.

Most women deal with PMS at some point in their 20’s and early 30’s. It brings with it symptoms like irritability, fatigue and minor physical discomfort. Upsetting newsflash – PMS is just a warm up.

Things get real somewhere between your late 30’s and early 50’s. (I know it’s a big age range. Every woman is different). This is when women enter perimenopause, which is the period (pun intended) before a woman experiences menopause. Many say it marks a woman’s entry into mid-life.

For too many women, the hormonal rollercoaster that accompanies perimenopause is negatively life altering. Here are a few symptoms of perimenopause.

•  You can’t sleep.
• You’re gaining weight around your middle. ☹
• You’re having extreme mood swings. One minute you’re sentimental and tearing up over a commercial, the next the sound of chewing makes you crazy.
• You’re hot – and not in a good way. You’re dripping (and stripping) right there in public, or you wake up in the middle of the night in a pool of sweat.
• You’ve lost that loving feeling. Sex has made it’s way to your to-do list. (I.E. You’re just not that into it).
• You’re easily overwhelmed or anxious. You could even feel depressed or hopeless.

The symptom list reads like bad dream, doesn’t it? Wanna know what’s even more serious? Perimenopause can last for years, and doctor’s say that a difficult perimenopause can predict a difficult menopause.

Bottom line, your symptoms are your body’s way of telling you that something’s wrong. Your system is out of balance, and if you want to feel better (and avoid decades of hormonal misery) you need to do something about it.

Self-care is no longer optional. You’re in self-preservation territory now.

Go see your doctor.

Ideally you’ll see an endocrinologist, or a doctor who practices integrative medicine. Have your hormone and neurotransmitter levels checked. Identify where you’re out of normal ranges, and work with your doctor to bring your body back into balance.

There is a non-pharmaceutical supplement available to address almost every imbalance in the body, and if those don’t work for you, prescription alternatives are available as well.

Bottom line, you’re body is talking to you (or perhaps screaming at you). Start listening. Make friends. You guys are gonna be together for a long time.

Onward…

Step 2: Heed the hissy.

While your hormones can and do hi-jack you, reducing your ability to cope, they’re not the sole problem. They’re just removing your ability to pretend you don’t have one.

When you lose your mind, you’re reacting to something real.

You’re just over-reacting.

And that overreaction is typically so outrageous (and you feel so bad about it afterward) that you end up apologizing for even making X an issue in the first place. Until next month that is.

Pay attention to recurring hormonal conflict.

What do you keep getting mad about? What fight do you have every time you’re hormonal? Does the same person or circumstance send you over the edge each month?

There’s a reason you’re arguing about X.

Because X bugs the f*** out of you, but normally you talk yourself out of addressing it. 

When you’re hormonal, you will address it.

While you might not be the best communicator when you’re nuclear, you’re usually saying what you think. What’s the truth in your tantrum?

What do you want? What do you need? What’s your recurring hissy actually about? The meltdown is the marker. It’s flagging a problem. Think of it like the ref throwing a flag at a football game. There’s been a foul.

Where’s your foul? Stop for a moment, look around, and acknowledge what’s really going on.

• Where have you taken on too much?
• Where do you need more help than you’ve been asking for?
• Where are you feeling suffocated, unseen, unheard, or unappreciated?
• Where do you need to set a boundary or take a stand?
• What needs to change?

Tell yourself the truth. You can handle it. Then tell whoever else is involved the truth. They can handle it too.

Check out a couple of my other blogs for additional help here. I have a formula that will show you how to stop living like a pleaser and another to help you solve complex problems.

Heed that hissy. Finally…

Step 3: Roll with it.

You can fight biology, but you’ll lose.

So why not roll with it?

This is gonna sound super awkward, but I’ll suggest it anyway. Track your cycle, and plan accordingly. There are many phone apps available that make this super simple. Download a tracker, and start paying attention.

How do you feel in each phase? I focused a lot on the bad stuff this week, but there’s good stuff too. There’s a spot in there where you feel like a sexy rock star – charismatic, super focused, and chemically attractive. Then there’s a sweet little introspective, nesting, snuggling, cuddling phase.

Get acquainted with your body’s rhythms. Notice what you need and when you need it. Don’t schedule things that requires diplomacy on your less-than-diplomatic days. Anticipate the days you’ll need extra TLC. What does that look like? Make a list of go to make-me-feel-better-on-so-hormonal-days strategies. When your day comes, give care!

I’ve attempted to make this light and a little bit funny because I know it can feel embarrassing. No one talks about this stuff, right? Who tracks their hormones on a phone app? (I do). Secrecy just adds to you feeling like you’re crazy and alone.

No more secrecy. All women deal with hormones. (Therefore most men do too). It’s okay to talk about it.

Give working with Mother Nature a try. She’s one smart cookie, and so are you. Remember how amazing you are. You’re stronger, smarter, and more powerful than a hormonal imbalance.

If you’re not already part of my community, please join at www.kimberlyfulcher.com. I am passionate about your empowerment. I send out a free weekly coaching blog just like this every Wednesday. Give me 10 minutes a week, and we’ll get your groove back together.

I believe in sharing the love. Please share this blog with someone who could use a lift, laugh, or shot of self-belief. Be an encourager! 

You Got This!

KIM