It could help marriages.

 


Though most of us learned this in school, we never really gave it the attention it deserves. I think there was never enough emphasis put on this subject. If there had been we may have found it easier to form better relationships. Since it effects every one of us, we should find ways to have serious discussions about it.

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"There is a sharp distinction between the world of the senses and the world of the intellect: one can only have opinions about the former, but one can have knowledge, justified true belief, about the latter. For just that reason, the intelligible world is the real world, the sensible world is only provisionally real, like the shadows on the wall of a cave."

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There is so much more to knowing a person than just knowing the facts...statistics  are for the intellect,
feelings are for the senses

Example:
We may be three thousand miles apart,but I feel your touch almost as much as if you were here

However, I couldn't convince anyone of that, since I can't prove my feelings as fact, and the intellect requires proof in order to justify it...........

Yet,everyone with even the smallest imagination, knows we can sense things, it would be difficult to
live with just the intellect.

I know I'm one who lives more through my senses than through my intellect,but I do know the difference.

Relationships suffer  when one person uses what we call a one track mind.

A balance of using both senses and intellect is the ideal,but rarely is it found.

Most of us veer one way or the other too much, so  arguements arise when one has what is considered more feelings than, the one who thinks with more intellect.

It would help if we truly tried to understand the difference and realize that it isn't wrong to be one way or the other.

However, it would be better if we could achieve a closer blending of the two.

A  husband wife Scenario:

W- "You know dear, you could have paid more attention to Lydia, been a bit warmer"

"My sweet, you go on about how I am cool to people as if  you don't know me and my ways after all these years, everyone accepts me as I am except you."

W -"You may think so ,but you don't know what I'm told, because I don't want to hurt you, if you would only try to be more sociable, it isn't asking too much."

"Yes it is, it's asking me to be more like you want me to be, and not understanding that I'm who I am, just as you are ,and if you notice,I never ask you to be more like me."

W-"I see this is another stalemate,you forget all the  accommadations I had to  make to keep us together, changing much of who I had been before we met."

"Going back ten years ,once again,and acting as if I did nothing to advance our marriage,just because I don't have the bleeding heart and over-abundance of feelings that you have.  We'd better get past this, before it finally  causes us to split"

W-"Maybe you're right, we should be less sociable, become the recluses you always wanted us to be, and I'll just sit by quietly like a good wifey, awaiting your wishes."

"Since I'm never going to be the husband you want perhaps we should consider a separation."

W-"There you go again, every time you use that line you end up saying you're sorry you didn't mean it.
Just to get me to shup-up and let you go on with your orderly life, lived by your rules of perfection hardly ever doing anything by instinct!  Not this time, I think a separation may be a good idea."

"Well you're finally telling the truth , you never did love me, I have to wonder what made you marry me, you knew me well enough."

W-I never loved you?  That's untrue and unfair! I still love you ,and you know it,you're breaking my heart with your adamant ways which seem to get harsher the older we get. I can't live with a corsett on our lives
 everything serious, never any fun. You may have been a bit  strait-laced when we married, you have gotten much more so over the last decade."

You're always telling me I live by my brain alone and all my senses are dulled. that isn't true either. I love you as much as I always have, and because I can't show it the way you want me to, I'm the villian. It gets tiresome having to be treated like a robot, just because I don't have your touchy feely ways. I think you overdo everything, but I don't keep telling you and demeaning you,and it doesn't make me want to leave you."
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Well as you can see , this arguement can go on forever and it usually does, in one form or another in relationships.

Senses versus intellect is a serious thing. I think we should begin to teach this to children at the same age we teach everything else.

Three  years old,is reasonable. They should also have classes in school starting in kindergarten. Perhaps it can at least save some, from forming relationships that  fail. Knowing why there are these differences can also make it easier to discuss them and find ways to try to see our mates, friends families,etc in a different light with more understanding.

It doesn't hurt to try;-) I think marriage is hard enough without adding ignorance to it. If we can learn beforehand how a person both feels and thinks, we could bettter discern if we have a chance of being compatible!

etw-2006