A rant, including a short poem, opposing the "spare the rod" school which propagates the idea that violence is the most effective strategy for handling child discipline

Well, there I am enjoying a delightful meal with a few friends and a gent previously unknown to me. The atmosphere is relaxed, the conversation is lively and covers a wide variety of issues. At one point it gets around to the topic of "parenting".

One of my friends admits to having an aversion to the notion of corporal punishment as a form of child discipline, a view in which I concur. The guest, a ruddy-faced individual with a slightly pompous air, joins the discussion by aggressively disagreeing with this point of view. He bases his argument on the old biblical quote, "spare the rod, spoil the child!"

I strongly sense that he is very set in his views on the issue of child discipline and will tolerate no alternative opinions. In other words, I detect a strong smell of dogmatism coming up, so I sit back and exclude myself from the discussion by slowly sipping wine, seething as I sip!

The discussion doesn't go too far when the others realise the futility of exchanging views with this man who is now starting to raise his voice. The others quickly, firmly change the subject and the corporal punishment advocate drops the argument.

Still seething when I return home from the party, I grab a pen and paper and sit at my study desk. After some moments of quiet reflection I get in touch with my Muse who, once aroused, presents me with the following lines:

*The Man At The Party*

The man at the party
says,
voice fragmented
wrapped in static,
"spare the rod,
spoil the child,
that's my philosophy."

The speaker's eyes waver,
dying candles flicker
in cut glass goblets;
voice, fainting, falls to slow glide,
recalls the sounds of unbuckling
before the beatings
that made him a man.

Dance rhythms contend
with dissenting voices,
the uneasy beat of shuffling,
the cruel march
from childhood
to manhood.


FOOTNOTE: I know there is a difference between an admonishing smack and a “belting”. I have no problem with the former, but I do have a problem with violence being used as a main deterrent to the “naughtiness” of a toddler.

Unfortunately, there are still those who invoke the Bible to justify the use of disciplinary forms which go beyond the bounds of admonition. These forms (using a strap, cane or other similar tools of disciplinary action) constitute unnecessary physical violence on a child. I take this view because I believe that there are other much more humane and, in the long run, more effective strategies available, such as “time out” and/or temporary deprivation of privileges etc.

I do NOT believe in “spoil the child”, but I am against the use of “the rod” as being effective other than to demonstrate to the child that violence is the way to go in order to resolve conflicts of interest.