You may not choose your family but you can choose what is best for you!
Loving You
When family is involved in your life, whether it be your blood relatives or those by marriage, you want to do everything you can to keep peace and maintain respect. But what about when your peace is violated repeatedly and you are given no respect? Sometimes it's just time to let go, break off communications, shake off the weight they have tried to lay on your shoulders. It may be a weight of unjust guilt or false responsibility. You will know when it's something they invented and you don't own. If being around them makes you miserable, just the thought of them causes you unrest. If you are constantly caught in the crossfire from situations and family wars you did not start and have no desire to fight in, then it's time to let go. Love yourself enough to avoid those who hurt you and belittle you and begin to build friendships and relationships outside the family you no longer want to be a part of. There came a time in my life that my health and sanity were in jeopardy if I continued to try to have a relationship with family. I was at the end of what I could take and decided I really didn't have to take anymore, so I didn't. Years of trying to deal peacefully with abuse and just pure craziness had finally brought me to a place of rage and total inability to endure it any longer. It was like a breath of Spring on a sunny day when I said, enough is enough and decided I could not and would not take anymore. It felt like a little bird set free from a prison. I refused to continue to bend until I nearly broke. I've even looked around my house and decided that any object in it that gives me a bad feeling instead of a good one is going in the trash. Why keep people and things around you that only bring negativity. If you find yourself in such a situation, being robbed of your peace and health, I can't tell you what to do for you have to arrive at that place of decision for yourself. I can tell you that if your family is destroying you, you may find the only solution is to leave them alone, get away, stop contact. Maybe it's time to stop trying to win the love and respect of those who will never give them to you and just simply allow yourself to love YOU enough to spare yourself from such frustration and grief. It worked for me and my long prison term has ended. This article may be of help.
I UNDERSTAND AND I AGREE WITH EVERYTHING HERE BUT I'LL ADD SOMETHING; IT IS OUR DUTY TO PRAY FOR THE LOST...LIKE THEM OR NOT. AND WHEN PEOPLE(FAMILY OR OTHERWISE)ARE ACTING ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE, THEY ARE LOST. THE BIBLE SAYS PRAY FOR THEM THAT DISPITEFULLY USE YOU, LUV YOUR ENEMIES & BLESS THEM THAT CURSE YOU(MATT 5:44).YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE AROUND 'EM TO PRAY FOR 'EM. AND WHAT'S GREAT IS GOD ALREADY KNOWS YOUR HEART AND WHY YOU'VE MADE THE DECISION THAT YOU HAVE. IF WE ARE POSSIBLY MAKING A MISTAKE, ASK GOD TO SHOW YOU. OTHER THAN THAT; BLESS 'EM, PRAY FOR 'EM, LUV EM AND LEAVE 'EM BE! THANKS FOR SHARING. LOVE, BLESSINGS AND FAITH...JOYCE * HIS INSPIRATIONS
Some great advice. From the positive outlook you've always displayed here, I would've never known you had gone through such an ordeal. Thanks for writing this revealing part of your life.
In my life, while some of my family seemed a bit stressed with my physical condition, I chose independence within a year of my paralysis and have been fortunate not to be around bad people, except for a couple of short-term roommates and superiors at work who either didn't understand me, were jealous, or disliked me, for the rest of my life. It's probably better that most of my family is thousands of miles away. There's little dysfunction in my family, but we don't seem to tolerate abuse and that's why we don't get caught up in it.
I understand completely. I'm a survivor as well. My guard is up always. I have married a "gentle man" who would never raise his voice much less his hand to me. Thank God!
A moving testament to the hardships and difficulties that we may face even within the context of the family. I agree that if/when a person is surrounded by undue negativity, the best thing is to recognize it for what it is and simply let go. John
Until we are able to genuinely love ourselves we all struggle to love others, many of them wrongly as they are not worthy of the greatest gift we have to bestow upon them. Let them be, let them remain to sort out their lack of self love that neglects all those they encounter in life and makes them miserable too. Break free and love yourself, and those truly worthy of the love you have to share. Loving you is a prerequisite to genuinely loving others. Well stated Belle and an important sharing to all compassionate people.
Grief, from Darkness to Light: A Faith-Based Journey is a transformative guide for anyone seeking comfort, healing, and spiritual renewal after the pain of loss. With compassion and faith as its foundation, this book explores the unique, non-linear j
In my life, while some of my family seemed a bit stressed with my physical condition, I chose independence within a year of my paralysis and have been fortunate not to be around bad people, except for a couple of short-term roommates and superiors at work who either didn't understand me, were jealous, or disliked me, for the rest of my life. It's probably better that most of my family is thousands of miles away. There's little dysfunction in my family, but we don't seem to tolerate abuse and that's why we don't get caught up in it.
Ron
Love ya!
Jane