street smarts to survive this job. 

This is the Thanksgiving rush...Turkeys everywhere. Sales!! Customers.

Rude has a whole new color....I bet you wouldn't want to be in my

line right now...Well, neither do I, but I wanted to extra cash...

Is it worth it? You be the judge...

Here's what happened that fateful Thanksgiving rush day when I

was just a cashier-in-training--or what the other cashiers call

a newbie...forgive the colorful language. I try to keep it as real as

I can...cover your ears...LOL

I am at my register in the middle of Thanksgiving rush.

I have a bottle of windex in my hand cleaning off my scanner. It looks sticky with who knows what that 10 year old girl spilled on it. I wipe it clean and spray my station clean quickly as I notice a rush of customers coming my way.

Clunk!!

Well so much for cleaning my station. I see the lady put the
chocolate bars under the frozen turkey and smashes them
on my conveyor belt.

"Mommy! Mommy! You smashed my candy bar!! Get me another one!!"

"No! I don't have time! Now let Mommy check out these groceries."

"Get me another candy bar , Now Mommy!", the little girl with the red pig tails throws herself on the floor screaming and kicking.

The mother --red faced pulls up the child. "Enough of that.
No candy. No more talk!"

The conveyor belt slowly moves forward bringing the ten frozen
turkeys my way.

I lift each one up and my fingers are frozen as I put each one in a separate bag. I look up to see a line from here to
doomsday, staring at me with hate in their eyes.

"Will you hurry up, lady! I have to catch the bus!! You are slow
as molasses!", the man in the blue sweatshirt says with
a mean look in his eyes. He shifts his feet back and forth and
crosses his arms over his body, pushing the shopping cart
smack forward into the little old lady with the bottle of
Jack Daniels in her hand.

"Hey, mister!", I shout at the man. You are rude! Wait in line
and stop terrorizing the customers!

The little old lady turns around and looks him square in the
eye...

"You know I buried five husbands and I am still here. Want
me to make good use of this Jack Daniels...You could
use a good lunk on the noggin!"

The man glares. "You're all nuts!! I should get my stuff for free
for waiting in this insane line!"

"Lady, I know you're nuts, but can you let me in front of you? I need to catch the bus!"

"Eat shit! I ain't movin!", the little old lady shouts for everyone to hear.

Everyone in the line claps and the man takes his shopping
cart and rams it into the little old lady.

"Ain't so tough now, are ya?"

Without a word, she clocks him over the head with the
Jack Daniels.

"Touchdown!" , she shouts with her arms straight in the air.

Meanwhile, the turkeys are all bagged (all ten of them) and I ring up the order...

"That will be 85 dollars please. "

The lady pulls out her purse...and starts counting

"One dollar, two dollar,...."

I roll my eyes as the store manager rushes over to see the pool
of blood near the man and the tries to calm the crowd as the
old lady keeps shouting, "Touch down!"

"Calm down everyone. This is a grocery store not a stadium!"

The store manager rushes to the phone and calls the ambulance and the cops...

With sirens and fanfare the men in blue rush in a few minutes later, slap the cuff on the little old lady as she
shouts...

"Hey, this is triple coupon day! I want my Jack Daniels!"

I look to the people in my line once again and I a sea of
turkeys, turnips and booze all rolling my way...

What is going through my mind as I watch this scene

unfold before me??

1-The customer is always right?

Nope. Get real!

2-I love lines?

Nope.

3-Wake me up from this nightmare???

Your getting warmer!!

4-I quit!!

Yes!! As I run like the wind out the door of that

Thanksgiving line from hell....

The fresh air of freedom felt especially

Awesome that night!!

Have a nice day!

NOT!! :) LOL