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Paul Kyriazi

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14 Screenplay Points to Engage Your Audience With No Stars
by Paul Kyriazi   
Rated "PG" by the Author.
     
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NOTE: I wrote this article before I won Best Original Screenplay at the Florence Film Awards Italy & Best Produced Screenplay at the Global Film Festival Awards in Los Angles. Plus four other screenplay awards.

A total of 38 first-place international awards for Forbidden Power.

The 14 points are in bold.

Akira Kurosawa (The Seven Samurai) said:

"If you genuinely want to make films, then write screenplays. It is only through writing scripts that you learn the specifics about film structure and what cinema is. Writers today want to get to the end right away. Writing is like mountain climbing; Never look at the peak and develop your story."

I’ve written six out of the seven movies I directed. Four of those movies I produced myself. I don’t write scripts to sell because the competition to get a script sold is keen. Usually writers are commissioned to write for producers via who they already know. So, the chance of selling a script is small.

I do, however, write scripts for movies that I want to make. Must make. Movies I will raise the money for and direct. Stories that I’m so passionate about that I’ll take the financial responsibility to see them to the end.

Except for Omega Cop, which had three name actors; Adam West, Troy Donahue and Stuart Whitman, my movies have no stars as do most of the independent movies made. And that’s the fly in the buttermilk. How do you hold a viewer’s attention with no stars? A viewer that has his hand on the TV remote control, ready to turn off your movie if ten seconds go by without holding his interest.

If the viewer was watching a movie that had Brad Pitt or Leonardo DiCaprio in it, he’ll give it five minutes. But he won’t give more than 10 seconds on a movie with no stars. The same goes for judges at film festivals that you’ll pay money to enter. The same goes to buyers you’re trying to sell your movie to. (For cash I hope.)

What follows are the techniques I used to have my 7th feature film, Forbidden Power, hold the viewer’s attention and 33 first prize awards (so far) including Best Picture at the Hollywood BIB Film Competition, Best Science Fiction Feature Film at the International BB Oklahoma Film Festival and Best Thriller at the London Flicks Festival. All IMDB sanctioned. 

1 - Chose an exciting story that can continue to unfold over 90 minutes. The biggest decision you'll make about your movie is the subject, your story. Will the tagline on your poster have enough energy to attract a viewer and enough story possibility to expand its ideas?

Many people write about Hitchcock's Psycho; it's dialogue, editing, sound effects, music its many symbols and the idea of killing off the lead star at the 50-minute mark. (Yes, 50 not 30 as most write). But the main thing is that Hitchcock chose to do that story in the first place.

Once you decide on the story that you want to make a movie about, you're stuck with that story for the duration. And so is the viewer holding that TV remote control. So, before you start writing, take your time and  make a story choice that will have a great tagline to attract and engage the viewer.
 
Quentin Tarantino says, "Most movie stories these days are about just one incident. I like stories that unfold over time."
 
So to compete for the audience's attention, you can consider having a story that has a variety of incidents that unfolds over many days or months such as Tarantino's Kill Bill, Hitchcock's North by Northwest, or Vertigo.
 
Independent producers usually want one-incident stories because they can film their movie mostly in one location, as I'll mention later. 

2 - The first scene of your story should be a grabber, (an obvious technique) a teaser of things to come. Something that will make Mr. Remote-Control say, “Okay, I’ll watch this for a few more minutes.”
 
And get to that first scene right away by not having a title sequence. Have the production company name come on, then the title and go to the first scene. This jumps the viewer right into the story two minutes faster and doesn't tell the viewer that there are no stars in the movie by running the names of the unknowns.
 
Besides, at the end of a movie with no credit sequence, the director's credit comes first at the ending. And if you're also the writter then it's Written and Directed by xxxxx. A very powerful title if you've really entertained your viewers.

 3 - Most of your scenes should be no more than two minutes long and should force the curiosity of Mr. Remote to watch ‘Just one more scene.’

4 - Have a least sixty scenes in your script. This has double power: One: It insures that the average running time of your scenes will be ninety seconds, signaling the viewer that the story will be told quickly.
 
Two: It will give your story more ‘bits of entertainment’, as in; the more entertaining scenes there are, the more entertaining the movie.
 
Director Howard Hawks said:
 
"If you have five scenes that people will talk about, you're movie will be a hit."
 
Check out Hawk's The Thing from Another World & Rio Bravo to see those five scenes. 
 
Also: Be sure to act out your script to time it. Make sure you have at least 90 minutes of screen time, so your movie looks like 'a movie'.

5 - Be ambitions. Remember this is about writing a story that YOU will produce and direct, not sell to someone else. When you browse the internet searching for advice on independent filmmaking you will see many saying: Make your movie in one or two locations and keep your cast small.
 
However, new locations and introducing new characters, especially female characters, will keep Mr. Remote from turning your movie off. So:

 6 - Have many locations and a large cast of interesting characters. How you find the actors and how much you pay them is another subject, but if you're a young producer, don't just have your young friends in the cast. Get as many older people as you can into your movie. It will look more professional.  

7 - Beware the 50-minute mark. This is where even large-scale movies tend to bog down and make the viewer give up. So, either introduced an exciting, new character there or have a big action or suspense scene. Or, best of all, introduce a story twist that takes the viewer into a new aspect of your story.

8 - End each scene with a promise of something exciting or suspenseful coming up in the next scene, such as a character saying, “What will he find out there, Dr. Zeus?”  “His destiny.” Planet of the Apes The audience never went for popcorn because they had to see what Charlton Heston would find ‘out there’.

9 - Have a great ending. An ending should be both surprising and inevitable. We are surprised when Heston finds the Statue of Liberty ‘out there’, yet when we think about it, it all makes sense. Many surprising, but inevitable endings, can be seen in the original Twilight Zone episodes. Rod Serling wrote the Apes screenplay along with Michael Wilson, the writer of Place in the Sun and Bridge on the River Kwai, both of which had surprising, but inevitable conclusions.

10 - Romance and irony make it interesting. Director Sam Pechinpah told actor Robert Culp: “All movies should be about the man-woman relationship and have a sense of irony.” A debatable point, but that’s why I made Forbidden Power the story of a young man who is infected with sexually-transmitted-power and must choose between the woman he’s addicted to and the woman who loves him.

11 - Freeze your scenes, so you can move on to adding bonuses. Yes, you can re-write forever, but at some point, you must say to yourself, “That’s the movie,” and stop adding scenes. (Unless you get a brainstorm).

12 - Keep repacking your snowball. Screenplay writer William Goldman (Butch Cassidy, Hot Rock, Marathon Man) said, “A story is like a snow-ball rolling down the hill. It gets bigger as it keeps rolling. If the only thing that is going on in your movie is what’s going on, then repack your snowball.”

To me this means; Once you have your scenes frozen into a story you find powerful, then go back and within those scenes add more of what I call ‘bonuses’ or what Walt Disney called ‘plussing’. Make your characters richer by adding some verbal back-story and visual props to amplify your story.

In Forbidden Power I added the little girl’s doll long after I had frozen the scenes. This doll became a character of its own which made me add dialogue referring to it and gave me something to cut to as if the doll may become alive at any moment. All because I was repacking my snowball.

13 - You don’t have to use a script program. I’ve used Final Draft for a few screenplays, but for my last movie, I used Microsoft Word. It was faster and easier to control for me. And since it was for a movie I would produce and send to the actors in PDF form, it didn’t need to be in any script program. But it’s up to you how you want to type it.

14 - Write the script for yourself or Mr. Remote-Control? I say, write for both. But always keep in mind, if you don’t hold their attention, the audience will make a popcorn run, Mr. Remote will turn off your DVD and judges won’t select your movie at festivals. Worst, your friends will say, “Pretty good, but your next one should be better.”

Okay. I wish you great passion while typing and watch out for Mr. Remote. Oh, and take a look at Forbidden Power on Amazon to see if I practice what I preach. 
 
Here's the tagline: 
 
After a one-night affair with a mysterious woman, a young man wakes up alone with sexually transmitted powers.
 
He searches for the woman to find out the source of her power and why he was chosen. 
 


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Reviewed on September 2, 2021
Very useful article! Thank you for sharing!

Sandire

Reviewed by m j hollingshead
Reviewed on May 12, 2019

Interesting article!!



Never stop writing!

m

Reviewed by Ronald Hull
Reviewed on May 7, 2019
I have read this before. All good points to consider for serious moviemakers to consider.

Ron

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