I discovered the picture used in this article while writing to a friend in thanks for spending some time with me over coffee one morning. After spending a delightful time in conversation I returned home to begin my daily routine of planning the rest of my day so that my assundry medical issues will be kept at a minimum. Those of you with chronic diseases or illnesses know what I mean by planning to cause little upset to medical issues. It's a very delicate balance that many face each day. Some with issues of being abandoned by loved ones or by friends (because of their not wanting to admit you are ill) while others seek a new life full of expectation but with definite limits to the amount of energy and effort they can place doing one thing or another.
It's been over a decade now that I've encountered my greatest challenge in life. My diagnosis is Chronic Fatigue and Severe Fibromyalgia. The subset of illnesses spinning off from these is extensive and includes Narcolepsy, Hypothyroidism, Sleep deprivation, Involuntary muscle spams and contractions along with a pain that never goes away. Then, (taking another deep breath) it continues with Depression, Cognitive difficulty with Mental dullness and confusion. I won't bore you with the rest but the list continues into the distancd. When I was in practice any person who entered my front door with that diagnosis was first met with compassion but secondly was seen with some suspicion over the "real" diagnosis. However, after dealing with this demon for over a decade I see how what to many is a psychological problem is in reality a life changing, life altering disease.
"You look so normal" is what many say to me. "How can you be sick when you don't look sick?" is another famous quotation. Any disease that robs you of your profession, your hobbies, your status in your community and 12 years later has a list of secondary diseases that would fill up (along with a lst of medications) an entire article by themselves is a real disease. It's one of those "hidden diseases", you know, that ones you can't see but wow can you feel it.
Like the picture, anyone with chronic disease tends to become "a lone wanderer" because their disease keeps them from living a "normal" lifestyle. It creates what some would call a "hermit" when before they were so active in their profession and communities.
I've become a lone wanderer not out of desire but out of the need to limit the extent my diseases occupy my life. It's an instinctual response to an unexpected event where the only reason is to limit the extent to which your life becomes altered.
I've made several attempts to return to the computer and continue my self discoveries and ways we can all help others but have failed in my attempts for all the above reasons. I'm hoping this time I can once again focus of the good parts of my life and help others to overcome whatever life has given them. I am hopeful that I will receive responses to this article that will give me a new way to continue my quest to improve all our journeys.
Drop me a note, tell me your story and allow me to be of help to yet another "lone wanderer". By doing that, and connecting on a level of "I've been there and know exactly what you mean", I am hopeful I can return once again to the life giving, symptom reducing and healing discussions as I did previously.
With love to everyone who reads this and the acknowledgment that life presents us with enormous challengess I look forward to once again picking myself up and wandering into your hearts where peace is found and healing can take place.
