How I hear voices and have dealt with it.

The Voices I have been hearing ALL my life. They started when I was seven years old. Coincidentally, that was when Sam, my Mother's boyfriend, was sexually abusing me and raping me. I however, thought EVERYONE heard the VOICES. I thought it was normal to hear them so I did not pay much attention to them. I am so very GLAD I did NOT PAY Attention to them!

The voices, when I was young, would tell me to go and act deathly ill to get attention or to jump out of the car door while driving down the highway. Sometimes,I would cut myself with a razor. It was a way of releasing tension and emotional pain. However,I bled. I look back now and realize what a real case I was for Mom. I felt like I had to get Mom's attention as a child by pretending to be sick because she would put all her energeies on Sam, the molester. He was her boyfriend. She stopped seeing him seven years after the rapes and molestation started. The voices would also tell me to RUN out into the street and get HIT by a car BUT I NEVER DID THAT! Thank God!

The voices started exactly at the time when my father was suppossed to be at my soccer game but he could not make it so Mom's boyfriend showed up. He smiled and I waved back to him. Then,I remember the voices started talking to me from the field. My parents divorced when I was four years old. Sam started molesting me that very year. That Spring in fact. I am sure the voices have something to do with it.

Let me refresh you for those that have just joined me and do not know my history. My name is Rebecca Estelle Henry and I am 32 years old. I will be 33 years old this June 5th! YEAH! I have survived a life-threatening illness. It has been almost 6 years since my brainstem tumor/lesion was taken out by a prominent neurosurgeon here in Dallas,Texas. I have come to find out that my Dad and 3 of my 4 sisters which includes me, we all have Cowden's Syndrome. It is rare but becoming more popular. Rare in families especially. Cowden's is what has caused a lot of my medical problems. I will not even get into it it is too numerous to even list.

The voices and depression and borderline personality disorder I believe I have gotten from Dad's side.
I am on medication and the voices have stopped and I only see things once a month at most.

Life is wonderful here.

Written May 20, 2003


Update:September 26th, 2003: I now have been told I also have the genetic disease, Neurofibromatosis, most likely, besides having Cowden's Syndrome. I am also almost OFF my psychotic medication COMPELTELY! I am down to 1 pill at night now and I do not hear the voices since October of 2002. It will have been a year next Wednesday! YEAH! Maybe I might be on the cured side? Who knows, will; talk to my psych about it next month on the 14th!

Update:October 8th, 2003-I see my psych next Tuesday and we shall talk. Will update you soon.