What is it in so many of us that allows so much compassion for the predator and so little for the victims? The denial of death and a sick obsession with the immediate allows us to discount and mythologize the dead as though they were never really here.

A few years ago, while debating a group of death penalty foes, Staten Island’s Borough President, Guy Molinari asked, “What is it, about you folks, that allows you to reserve so much of your compassion for the predator, leaving virtually none for the innocent victims?”

Maybe at least part of the answer to Mr. Molinari’s query is that we simply don’t relate to the dead.

The funerals, wakes and all the other trappings of death are for those of us left behind. They are a testament to our pain, our grief and our loss.

In grief, we the living, are transformed into the victims, the dead are a mere afterthought.

This obsession with the self is the height of arrogance, the ultimate in selfishness. It is the essence of what allows us to see every event through the “I” or “me.” As in, “It’s all about me,” and “How does it effect me?”

That’s why we focus on the killers – “Why’d they do it? What sparked all of this fury?”

The dead are out of reach. There’s nothing we an do for them, but maybe we can “learn from this tragedy.”

There is no "learning" here, as there's rarely any lasting rehabilitation for violent predators. Recidivism rates for violent felons remain high, especially when addressed with mandated psycho-therapies. Sadly, it's old age and infirmity, not therapy, that usually limit the violent tendencies of most predatory humans.

All that this concern for the living predator does is feed our sick obsession with the self. At least the killer shares the here and now with us, the dead are of the past...two minutes ago or two thousand years ago, what’s the difference?

Dead is dead and the dead are gone.

This past week, England’s High Court released Jon Venables and Robert Thompson, the two ten year old killers of three year old James Bulger. Those obsessed with the self, cry out that, “Nothing will bring James Bulger back. Hurting, killing or unnecessarily keeping these two teenagers in prison will serve no purpose other than to satisfy the bloodlust of a group of vigilantes.”

The reasoning here goes, the dead are gone, forget them. Let’s focus on saving who we can – in this case, as in most such cases, that's the killers.

In fact, this crime was so horrific, so demonic that one needn’t be a “bloodthirsty vigilante” to want these two viscious thrill killers separated from society for good.

What happened that day is clear. A security camera showed Venables and Thompson leading little James Bulger away from the store his mother was shopping at. From the store, they led James to a nearby canal. They had James kneel by the edge of the canal, with the hope that he’d fall in. When he didn’t, they picked him up and threw him down violently on his head. They then dragged him to a train track, where they poured a can of blue enamel paint on his face.

After kicking him, hitting him with bricks and metal poles, they shoved small rocks into his tiny mouth and then left him unconscious on the train tracks half clothed. A train ran over James’ body, cutting it in half.

Venables and Thompson, now eighteen, have served just eight years in a juvenile facility. Much of the mainstream media focuses on the supposed rehabilitation of Venables and Thompson, very little is written about James Bulger or his family.

Likewise in Houston, Texas, where Andrea Yates, apparently suffering from post-partum depression, drowned her five, young children, aged 6 months to seven years, in their bathtub, the focus is on her and her fragile mental health.

The claim is that she "momentarily snapped," but that's belied by the fact that she methodically chased her terrified, seven year old son, Noah, around the house after he’d seen her drown his six month old sister.

Yet the U.S. media’s focus has been on Andrea Yates, not her five innocent victims.

“What caused her to snap?”

“What’s Russell Yates’ reaction to all this?”

“Just what is post-partum depression?”

“Can Andrea Yates be saved?”...and so on.

What we’ve learned from Russell Yates’ remarks at his children’s funeral is that he’s as sick and self-centered as his wife is.

Before the funeral, he spoke about “going forward from here with his wife.” Newsflash – there’s no going forward from something like this. This is the end of that family Russell Yates.

At the funeral, Russell Yates, speaking over the casket of his seven year old Noah, retold a story about a family trip during which Noah set a butterfly free from its cocoon, then added, “That’s what we’ve done for all of you, we’ve set you free.”

Yeah, that’s right Russ, Andrea really did them all a favor.

In closing he added, “I’m sorry that I won’t get to see you all grow up.” Do you see it? “[I’M] sorry that [I] won’t...” For Russell, as with Andrea, it’s all “ME,” and everything is seen through the “I.”

So Andrea weeps for herself, Russell weeps for himself and the media focuses all its sympathies on the living...the “I.”

We read stories about how Andrea could be any Mom and how such temporary breaks with reality are more common than we think. Another case of reaching out to the living because the dead are beyond our grasp. At least the killers share something with us – the here and now...a beating heart, and life’s breath.

If the dead could speak, what would they say? Maybe this: “We are the dead, just as you are the dying. That means that you’re coming with us. Maybe not now, but you’ll join us soon, much sooner than you think. Don’t be so afraid. Don’t turn your head away, or shiver when you pass a cemetery. Carry us in your hearts, where we still deserve to dwell. So long as you’re afraid of death, you’ll remain afraid to really live.”

Wake up! Jon Venables, Robert Thompson and Andrea Yates aren’t the victims here, little James Bulger, along with Mary, Luke, Paul, John and Noah Yates are!