A Sitcom about a “Glee”-fully Skyping piano teacher
I couldn’t resist writing a story board for a hypothetical Cable network sitcom with a set of bizarre and ridiculous scenarios that make truth stranger than fiction.
To wit, yesterday’s Skyped piano lesson definitely brought the house down.
Take One:
7:45 a.m adult student Skyped in from a confidential Bay area location. Camera was way off to begin with. I caught a glimpse of teenage son’s bedroom. He was fast asleep.
Camera adjusted to afford a panoramic view of the keyboard with snoring in the background.
Lesson Plan: Start with Dozen a Day, “Walking and Running,” sub-dividing quarter notes, to encompass 8ths, 16ths and 32nds.
Quarters off to a running start— Oops! they’re too fast. A crash and burn is imminent…
Whew!
Saved by the bell!
Student’s CELL PHONE chimes in with “Happy Days are Here Again!”
A retreat in the works as gleaned from a very audible conversation. A bunch of people will be piling in for a yoga mat meditation, 45 minutes too soon? The piano lesson has just begun.
What happened to the warm-up?
Take 2:
Back to start. How about slowing down the quarter notes?
Whoa!
The screeching smoke alarm has gone off! The house is about to burn down just as the student skids into 16ths! They’re way too fast! Watch out!!!
Cell phone overlap! A retreat bound member of the Yoga club is on her way, lost two blocks from the house.
But it will burn to a crisp before things get underway.
Pupil’s husband calls on cell phone from upstairs. He’s turned off the smoke alarm and tossed the burnt toast, but he needs the car battery jump-started. Where’s the cable?
Bleary-eyed, teenage son, clad in underwear, walks past the piano blocking out mom. He wants his allowance right now! And where are the car keys?
Husband can’t wait a minute longer for the jump-start cable.
Where’s my student? I see a vast orphaned keyboard landscape.
Oh my God! The whole room is shaking! Take cover. It’s an earthquake!
Thank goodness I’m on the safe side of the computer screen!
Take 3:
No man’s land.. Frozen frame! Time suspended. Lesson over. Did anyone survive?
I guess I’ll find out next week when we tune in for another earth-shattering episode of the “Glee-fully Skyping piano teacher.”
In the meantime, I’m off to Sydney, Australia for my next Skype.
