Make something of your life.

How will you be remembered after you die? Sure, this is a morbid thought, but it’s also a fact of life. One day, all of us will die. Some people sooner than others. When you think about the death of a loved one, naturally you would think about the life they had. What do you remember about that person? If you had to write their obituary, what would you write?

Now let’s turn this around, if you died, what would your obituary look like? Were you a person who was loved by many and made a number of accomplishments that touched the lives of others? Or, were you the person who had very little meaningful relationships and worked only for yourself?

Of these two examples, which obituary would you most likely have when you die:



"Jane Dough, age 56, passed away Thursday, January 19, 2006. She was a Naperville resident for the past 50 years. Survived by her loving husband Jonathan Dough. Loving mother of Wayne Dough and Lucy Dough; grand mother of Mike and Emily Dough. A sister, Constance (Jason) Johnson; a sister-in-law April Dennis; and numerous nieces and nephews also survive. Preceded in death by her parents, Thomas and Elaine Miller."

OR

"Richard Black, age 70, passed away Friday, January 13, 2006. He was a Joliet resident for 60 years. Survived by his beloved wife of 48 years, Mary A. (nee Tate) Black; loving father of Edward M. (Nancy) Black; Linda M. (Michael) Sanders; dearest grandfather to eight grandchildren and two great grandchildren; two brothers, Joseph (Kimberly) Black; James (Janet) Black; numerous aunts and uncles, nieces and nephews; cousins; friends; neighbors. Preceded in death by his loving parents, Glen (1975) and Katherine (nee Locke 2000) Black. Richard was born in Chicago and moved to Joliet when he was ten years old.

"Richard retired from Caterpillar Inc. in 2001 after 40 years of service. Richard served in the United States National Guard for 10 years.

"During his retirement, Richard was a member of the Joliet Methodist Church, a board member of the Saint John’s Neighborhood Association, volunteer for Meals on Wheels, and volunteered with many animal shelters and organizations dedicated to saving animals from death row and finding them loving homes.

"Richard also volunteered his time to work as a kitchen cook in area homeless shelters, to serve food to the homeless people of his town and every year he
would volunteer to collect coats, shoes, food baskets and Toys for Tots programs.

"Richard has touched the lives of many and will be missed by all. In lieu of flowers, the family has asked that donations be made to Richards favorite charity."



Which life sounds more appealing? When you examine life, how fragile it is, and how much one human being can make a difference, isn’t it worth getting up off the couch and volunteering your time and efforts into making a difference in someone else’s life?

I was inspired to write this article by comparing my life to those of others. While it may sound disturbing that I often think about my own obituary, I find it disturbing that others don’t. I
mean, the length of a persons obituary is basically a summary of their life.

I have a friend, we’ll call her Amy, who is a housewife and mother of two. Amy is 35 years old and basically spends her time cleaning her house, watching television, gambling on the boat, and the occasional drink and Bingo game.

I look at Amy and see so much potential, so much she can do to help others and yet, she comes up with so many excuses why she can’t do these things.

The most common excuse is: I
can’t because of the kids. Yes, she has two kids and I have no doubt that she loves them, but she does nothing with the kids. They go to school, come home, she tries to help with with their
homework (which she often calls me to help her with) and then the kids are on their own to play video games and visit with their friends.

The kids are not involved with any activities outside of school, nor is she interested in trying to get the kids into other activities. The kids are also amply overweight. She does nothing to try and resolve these health issues, except to acknowledge they need to loose the weight.

Amy loves animals, so I tried to encourage her to volunteer her time at a shelter or to be a foster mom to some animals. Excuse #1: She was afraid she would get attached to the animals.
Excuse #2: She didn’t want to see animals in cages. Excuse #3: Her cats wouldn’t let her bring other animals in the house to foster.

Many times I’ve suggested she should find a part time job to help out around to house, or to at least fund her gambling and personal entertainment. She didn’t want to work in any fast
foods or restaurants, no factory, warehouse, retail, or any other number of jobs where she had to handle money. For a high school graduate who had only worked in the fast food business, there
aren’t that many options. But she wasn’t just being picky, Amy simply did not want to work.

Although Amy has been my friend for years, I stopped trying to figure her out a long time ago. I can only round her up in one word: lazy. Amy was lazy and what bothered me so much, was that I have never been lazy. I have held a job ever since I was 15 years old and I have always tried to make something out of myself. Before my two children were born, I had always worked full time, plus over time, sometimes even a part time second job. I have been writing since I was 11 years old and have been published in many newspapers and magazines, both in print and on line. I have always been a member of numerous animal welfare organizations, fostering, nursing, adopting and volunteering my time and efforts.

After my children were born, I took some time off work for a while until my kids were school age and continued with working a part time job, eventually turning to animal grooming to work from the home. I continue to write and often freelance for an on line publication, I am very involved with my kids school and I am a member of their
parents/teacher organizations (basically the PTA, but named differently.) I enjoy taking my children out to experience new things and get involved in various activities.

I take time out to teach my kids, instead of leaving the teaching solely up to their teachers. I still volunteer my time and foster homeless animals, often nursing them back to health and
helping to find them homes. I think having my kids around animals is a great way to teach responsibility, compassion and respect for life. I was a block captain and member of my
neighborhood association, because I care about my community. When I see something wrong, I try to do something about it. I can’t say, “That’s wrong. I wish someone would do something about it.” I don’t pass the buck, listen to those Nike commercials and “Just Do It.”

I admit that I often over schedule myself, but I am making a differnce in the lives around me. If people will realize how one person has the power to accomplish so much. Then when I see
a person who is only out to please themselves, I can’t help but to see that person as a waste of life. Unless of course, there is a valid reason for being unable to do such things, like a health reason or being mentally unstable. There are so many things in this world that can be fixed if
people stopped trying to pass the buck to others.

I want to make a difference and when I think about my obituary, I want all my time and effort I dedicated into making those differences, noted. I want people to see all I have done and say “Wow. I bet I could do that.” I want to be an influence, to encourage people to do something positive with their lives, while they are still alive and able to do so.

Making a difference doesn’t
require over scheduling, it just requires commitment. Why live a solitary life and barely exist when every one of us has the power to improve the quality of life and reduce the suffering and despair?