Plan for widowhood. It's almost inevitable. Personal stories of widowed people, interviews with experts, an easy read.

What Can This Book Do For You?


Widowhood Happens can do a lot — if you will let it. It was written primarily to help married people smooth the way for the inevitable — the death of a spouse. It became more than that.

Friends and relatives of the bereaved can benefit too. Put some thought into what you say to the surviving spouse. Usually, the widow or widower is simply going through the motions at a funeral or memorial service. They’re a little numb. Maybe it’s best not to remember comments they receive from well-wishers, comments which should have been left unsaid. No one wants to hear, “Well, you’re young. You’ll get married again.” Another bad choice is, “You had six years together.” This was said to a pregnant young mother of two. It’s insane. Don’t count on the bereaved forgetting such statements. Sometimes things get imbedded in the brain. Another unwanted treatment the bereaved sometimes receive is criticism from relatives who take over and act as though the survivor has no brain, and has to be told everything to do. Not necessarily so.

Author Gene K. Garrison listened as widowed people told her about their own personal experiences. Not everyone has the same reactions. They live in different circumstances, wealthy versus poor, for instance. They have different personalities, and were married to spouses who also had their own strengths and weaknesses. Some are young,
some middle-aged, and others old. We, as readers, see their predicaments with money, plumbing, moving, self-blame, and friends and relatives who are both helpful and a hindrance. Funerals and memorial services are also discussed. The only list in the book is a very important one given by the attorney.

In between the poignant personal stories are interviews Garrison held with professionals and heads of organizations that deal with the problems of widowhood. A psychologist, lawyer, medical doctor, protestant minister, Catholic priest, a therapeutic weekend designed to untangle the morass of guilt, a social club, a group that prepares widowed and divorced people who have been out of the work force for many years to sharpen their skills and bolster their self-confidence.

There are illustrations of what can happen all through the book, without the author giving any advice, except for two important pieces of information directed at friends and relatives: LISTEN and DON'T JUDGE.

One chapter is titled What have You Done to Prepare for Widowhood? Try asking your friends that sometime. After the shock of the question, the answers will surprise you. Ask yourself that too.

At a book signing a man asked, “Can people get through widowhood without the help of your book?” Of course they can. For eons past, people have muddled through, taken to their beds, cruised the oceans blue, escaped reality with drugs, leaned on those who offered to help them, and finally pulled themselves together in order to get on with their lives.

Make it easier on yourself by finding out the options, and discovering the pitfalls. There’s the possibility of freedom — freedom to start something new, to meet new friends, to do volunteer work — involvement in anything you want. It’s a new life. It’s different, and that doesn’t mean it has to be miserable. It’s up to the survivors. Some will welcome the new life. Others won't. Life is a challenge, as we all know.


If we had the foresight, we planned for this eventuality. It’s a surprise ending. Find out more about what others experienced and how they were helped.

Strangely enough, Widowhood Happens is, for the most part, an easy, interesting read. It is not classified as religious. It’s simply human.