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CJ Heck

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The more things change, the more they stay the same ...

I was thinking about change this morning -- how there are so many different types of change. It begins early, too, as children growing up. Our parents give us constant guidance, ways we need to grow and change. Most are taught to us so we are comfortably accepted by others -- and so we don't appear offensive to society ... and most of them only came up because we got caught doing the offensive things in the first place:

"Chew with your mouth closed. It's very bad manners (not to mention, it's disgusting) to impose sloppy sounds of chewing, whether it's gum or food, on others nearby."

"Don't talk with your mouth full."

"Do not touch, scratch, fondle your private parts in public. That's a private thing to do when you're alone."

"Cover your mouth when you burp, sneeze, or cough."

"Do not fart, pass gas, (have a barking spider) in public. It's offensive to others."

Then when we got a little older, change came about more from within ourselves:

We want better grades, so we change our study habits.

We have a bad hair day, ask a friend who does their hair, and we dump our old hairstylist/barber.

Our friend pushes us down in the playground, so we make a new friend.

We say a bad word, get our mouth washed out with soap, and say the word again only in private or among our friends.

We find we don't attract the opposite sex by teasing, pulling hair, or pushing them down in the playground, so we try a different tack ... just being nice to them.

When we become adults, change nearly always comes about because we choose to make a change, for whatever reason:

This job sucks ...

This husband/wife sucks ...

This car sucks ...

This coffee, pizza, restaurant sucks ...

This speeding ticket sucks ...

This music, TV station sucks ...

This car, truck, house sucks ...

In our adult lives, the changes we resent most are those pointed out by others, unless we love and respect the person and, of course, we know they also love and respect us. Nothing is more hurtful than to be told we would be loved only IF we changed. Who wouldn't resent it?

This all naturally brings up the question, "Do we need or want to change?" I'm reminded of a joke I heard years ago:

"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?" The answer: "It depends upon whether or not the light bulb wants to change."

... and so it is with life.



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