As your parents age, it may be necessary for you to begin to assume the role of caregiver. As you begin assuming a helping role in your parents’ lives, it is important to gather necessary information

Boomers Caring for Aging Parents

As your parents age, it may be necessary for you to begin to assume the role of caregiver. It becomes more important to pay attention to what they are and are not capable of taking care of on their own. Through frequent visits, you can begin to assess the home situation, and begin to assume the role of caregiver where necessary.

Speak to your parents openly when possible about the role you will be assuming, and how you will be helping them to take care of their finances, equipping their home for safety, and helping them with their day-to-day routines. Beginning to assume the role of caregiver for your aging parents can be a difficult process, but clear communication along the way can help. Organization and diplomacy will go a long way towards a smooth transition.

As you begin assuming a helping role in your parents’ lives, it is important to gather necessary information. Designate a binder to store medical and personal information for the household. If you aren’t living with your parents, you may want two identical binders, so you have one copy in their home and one copy to keep with you. In each binder, store important information such as doctor’s names and contact information, pharmacy contact information, lists of medications and dosages, insurance policy information, etc. This information will come in handy when you are scheduling appointments and speaking with professionals.

You will also want to equip your parents’ home for safety. Many volunteer agencies will provide a safety check of your home, or you can do this on your own. Install safety equipment such as bathroom grab bars. Switch out lamps for higher watt light bulbs to aid visibility. Anchor rugs and cords to avoid falls. Consider widening doorways if a walker or wheelchair is used in the home. Take the time to place a list of emergency phone numbers near each phone, with numbers listed in a large bold font. These precautions will extend the amount of time your parents can live in their home independently. The goal is to make the home as safe and accident-proof as possible. Be sure to ask your parents for their input throughout this process – they know what areas of the home they struggle to get around in.

If your parents’ mental health begins to decline, you may want to consider becoming their power of attorney. This would allow you to make financial decisions for them, and help you to better manage their assets. Even if you are not a power of attorney, sit down with your parents and discuss financial paperwork, wills, and what types of accounts they have. Be sure that all this information is written down in a central location. If you are going to help them with financial activities, or if you will need to manage their finances if they become disabled, you will need access to this information. Be aware that this will be a difficult conversation to have, as your mother or father will not want to admit that they are losing focus and cannot do activities that they were once capable of. Reassure them that you merely want to help them, and are not trying to take over their life.

Throughout this process, pay attention to your parents’ desires and fears. Be sure to validate the way they are feeling, but help them to understand that you are helping them to stay in their own home by acting as their caregiver. Honor their wishes when possible, and when it is impossible, treat them with respect. Taking time to explain why you are doing things the way you are will help a great deal when you are caring for your aging parents. Remember, they are used to caring for you, so this is a difficult transition for them as well.