A BYOM party

A few days ago I received a special invitation, an invitation from the Vice President of the United States, Dick Cheney himself, to a dinner at the White House. The letter starts “I write to invite you to join the President and Mrs. Bush for a private dinner here in Washington, D.C. on June 19th.”

Wow! I thought. I must be getting some kind of award. After all these years I must have done something right somewhere and they found out about it and will be honoring me. I looked at the letter again to make sure it was indeed for me. Yes, it was addressed properly with correct spelling of my name. The top of the letterhead had Dick Cheney’s name, with a red star underneath. And the package contained an RSVP card with prepaid envelope. This looks real, I thought.

After the two page vice presidential letter there was another letter – this one from Senator George Allen encouraging me to attend the dinner. So not only are the President and Vice President of the United States after me, but also the U.S. Senate!

Well, I got my hopes up to about the 45% level. And I started doing what I normally do with offers that appear to be too good to be true . From experience I know that really great offers usually have the “catch” buried somewhere on the third or fourth page, in tiny print, or in a pale, almost invisible footnote.

“Get this free credit card! You are all approved!” says the bank offer. On the back in a footnote you find out the interest rate is 24%, plus all kinds of penalties for late payment. Or “Get this fantastic deal on a cell phone!” The small print says you have to sign up for a three-year contract, all taxes, fees, surcharges, long distance, public phone, and toilet use extra.

Anyway, after reading the entire VP letter I went back to the good Senator’s letter for a hint about what I’m being honored for. Aha! Just like in the credit card offers, I found the “catch.” How did I just know there would be a catch? There in the good Senator’s letter it was: “Tickets to The President’s Dinner are $2,500 each or you may purchase a table of ten for $25,000.” Too bad. Not even a special rate for ten tickets.

It was a Republican party fund-raising dinner. $2,500 a plate they call them. But that letter from the veep sure had me fooled, not a clue in two whole pages that it was a BYOM party -- bring your own money -- lots of it.