Try not to focus on the bad
Positive words will make their day
By acknowledging a little progress
In school they will want to stay
Student who bully are generally the students who cause problems in the classroom. With these types of students, it is easy to focus on their negative behavior. Although it may be difficult, we should try to praise these students for the positive things they do. If we look hard enough, we can find something to compliment them on. By focusing on their positive aspects, you will start to notice an improved relationship between you and the troubled students.
We should always keep in mind that troubled students rarely have any positive influences in their lives. Many bullies come from homes with alcohol and drug abuse. Others grow up in an environment of physical and verbal abuse. With the lives that many of these kids live, it’s no wonder they show up at school with a defiant attitude.
Although they may not admit it, when troubled students show up at school they are hoping to enter a positive environment. However, most of these students are treated the same way in school as they are treated at home. Teachers yell, criticize, blame, ignore, embarrass, and harass these students. The excuse most teacher use is that these students deserve this treatment because of their behavior. I agree that inappropriate behavior must be dealt with. However, punishment should not include demeaning a student.
By finding something positive to say to these troubled students, we can start to make progress with them. Try to find something about their behavior, their appearance, or their school work that you can compliment them on. If you see them treat other students or adults with respect, we need to let them know that we are proud of their behavior.
Imagine the difference this can make in the relationship you have with the troubled students. You will start to notice smiles being exchanged instead of angry looks. If you can find something good in these kids your attitude towards them will start to change. Instead of hoping that they are absent, you will be glad to see them walk into your class. By taking note of small, positive changes in these students, you will start to trust them more. In my experience, if you show a troubled student that you trust them, they will not let you down because they are so glad to finally have a positive influence in their lives. They will not want to fail you. And if they do, you forgive them and you continue to look for something positive.
A small compliment to a troubled student can go a long way. Educators must keep in mind that the most troubled students are the ones who need our support the most.
A very informative article, except that I believe we should not "support" bullies but counsel them with firmness. While we cannot tolerate their antagonism and animosity, they need to have constructive counseling and discipline, and close monitoring so that they will know that bullying is WRONG, understand WHY they do it and HOW they can help themselves gain victory from it.
Cynthia