I find myself in an unfamiliar place where the faces that I recognise as friends are not the faces that I had hoped for or the faces I necessarily know well. There are those that will always be there and always have been and for that I consider myself fortunate. I cannot find the willingness to share the depths of my soul with strangers even though they seem to understand and have a sense of caring that makes no real sense to me.

Faces loom in and out of life and happiness comes in waves coming quickly and staying for a period of time before drifting back until the next set is ready. However pain lingers in the very depths of us and knows not where it should rest and when it should leave.

Happiness has one very necessary ingredient which starts with a smile, leaves a warm fuzzy feeling all around and even has its own song, the tinkle of laughter has never been ignored by anyone for like a yawn it is contagious and sends the most wonderful messages with it.

The ache of an empty soul however cries silently and therefore is left undiscovered until the keeper rushes out and grabs the world by its throat and shakes it or rattles it with a large sigh… sometimes that sigh is the last and sometimes it is the start of a river of emotions that flow from the souls windows out into the world.

AS said in a song, ‘love is a very splendid thing’, to love without the conditions of life, to have the freedom to love and be true to yourself and those around you. To love another completely as a mother does for her child, without fault, without failure, to love with complete acceptance of another, to be able to hold someone without question without remorse or guilt or pain or resentment.
To let friendship become passion and passion become acceptance
and to have the knowledge and understanding of another’s soul
without having to question.
How wonderful to be able to be yourself without question of who you can or cannot or should or should not be. To love so dearly that harm and hurt and hatred are not part of life would be a blessing for us all..

When you see yourself in another’s eyes and therein lie reflections of yourself and your own life and own happiness and pain. Oh the need the reach out and grasp that person with everything in your being can be the most unbearable feeling if you cannot.

To know for sure that the choices you make are the right ones
Are never at hand but somehow hope has an incredible way of
Taking us from one day into another, but to live in hope comes with a sadness that seems to have no end.

a small voice
That edges us from one moment into the next, a voice that
Tells us what it is we truly want and who we truly are. It tells us things that don’t seem humanly possible and make us believe in things that seem unattainable. Sometimes it guards us and other times it pushes us into to doing things that seem just a little crazy. The little voice does not lie, it knows our
truths without being told and sometimes it tells us truths that we did not want to believe or were too afraid to face.

I light a candle to my little voice because it gives me hope and tells me my dreams are real and that everything is possible even when it seems that I have failed in every way ... 2004

2008

Today and every  day I thank the Lord for not giving up on me and for taking me places where I truly had never believed I would go. I thank him for taking away so much of what I had thought was important to me and for giving me in its place what  I now know to be the only truth.

It is through the Lord Jesus Christ that I am whole and at peace, I have love and I have happiness and I have success with all its many blessings. "

Justine Lamb