Does your grandmother sometimes get involved in your family business? Do you want sometimes to say-stop-let me handle this problem? Do you have bad feelings between the grandmother and grandchild in the home? If the answer is yes or no to any of these questions, read on.
When my children were growing up my mother would come for a long visit my and my daughter would get confused. When my mother would start speaking to me like a mother, even though I was the mother of two children, I went back into time in that safe place where my mother was the boss.
When this happened my eight year old daughter would start to yell, "don’t talk to my mother that way.” She was very confused and didn’t understand that my mother still considered me her little girl and I never really grew up in her eyes and, therefore, her opinion still mattered.
I would go along with my mother not to upset her but my daughter really became angry and confused. It did not bother my son who was older but my daughter really did not care for my mother telling me what to do.
When my mother would answer my daughter, “She is my daughter and I can talk to her any way I want.”
I feel, I should have said to my mother, “yes you are my mother but this is my daughter and I will tell her what to do.”
It is too late for me to say this but not to late for you. I needed to grow up and be confident in my body and mind, I was the adult and in charge of my own home and children. This would have made my daughter enjoy my mother's visits more and stop the confusing signals.
Relationships are very conflicted and confusing and when you add different generations to the mix you can sometimes create mass confusion.
If this situation arises in your household try and really explain to the child about the difference between grandmother, mother and child and set rules and boundaries.
This really created a rift in my mother and my daughter's relationship. Maybe it would not have happened if my mother would have been around more often than a couple weeks once a year. I don’t know but I want you to be aware that this can happen and does everyday.
It takes a lot of guts to speak up to your parents when you are an adult and it is not easy.
Thank you for reading my article. Please feel free to read any of my numerous subjects.
Copyright Linda E. Meckler 2007
Linda is the author of her first published book, “Ghost Kids Trilogy. "Christy, 12 and her Brother Brad, 16 moves into an old house on top of a mountain and meet two Ghost Kids.
Then we have a mysterious, magical Blue Vase where Uncle Charlie the villain is trapped. He wants out of the Blue Vase and exchange he will tell Christy and Brad where Pirates’ Treasure is Hidden.
Take a walk with Christy and Brad down a dark hall hunting for Pirates” Treasure. You will think were you there right there with them.
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