Imagine learning from your doctors that every medical treatment known at the time has failed… leaving only the power of both individual and communal prayer as a last measure.

Such was the dreadful dilemma faced by Dr. Gordon and Clare Livingston about which Gordon writes so very beautifully in his memoir/diary On Spring, the story of his son Lucas's heroic but futile battle against leukemia.

The Nature of Prayer ...

Prayer does not necessarily guarentee the results one seeks even should the sincerest supplicant approach The One Above.

Think of it … a sole human being pleading with the Master of the Universe to intervene mercifully, to reverse the evil decree that has befallen his life or that of his children.

As so many of us tragically discover, His answer turns out NOT to be the one we sought; that the death of a child may well leave one’s tentative faith in shambles, capable of furthering the transformation of an agnostic’s doubt into the cold, unfeeling cynicism of the atheist.

It’s often wondered … just how it is that God works-not that I know, mind you, but I wonder if He responds to supplications as simply and directly as when we respond to a child’s request for a snack before dinner?

In our case, it is either a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ … it’s that simple!

I suspect, however, that matters are far less simple with God.

Dr. Livingston finally resolves the apparent conundrum of his son’s death with the faith and trust in Him that he so desperately seeks:

‘Why is it that God makes it so difficult to believe in Him? … it is when I face the despair of my loss … that, like Job, I am tempted to ‘curse God and die.’ … but in saying this, I acknowledge his existence ... "

I do wonder ... if there is any discernible difference between the experiences of those bereaved parents who witnessed the process of their child’s dying over a course of time as opposed to what I experienced when the death of my son came suddenly without any opportunity to assimilate the reality-just several hours-while it sped along its irreversible course.

In my case the assimilation came after the fact though I had long had a premonition of what would eventually befall us.

I strongly suspect Dr. Livingston-when struggling to respond to his younger daughter Emily's question: "Why Lucas?"- might have responded he just did not know-as did I to Ben on our walk home from Walgreens that one afternoon.

I think many who suffer from chronic and/or life threatening illness have already come to terms with their mortality, and are able to assist loved ones assimilate the reality of not so much "if" as "when".

Dr. Livingston cites the example of a very sick Lucas trying to comfort his mom. In like manner, I learned from my daughter that Ben sought to comfort her, an act that assured me his mom and I had succeeded in raising a “ba’al chesed”.*

*an individual who by his very nature bestows acts of loving-kindness upon others.