By: Tonya Foust Mead

Gracing the cover of O magazine, it looks like the country's favorite best friend  and self-made billionaire Oprah Winfrey, has gained a little weight. By her accounts she weighs about 200 lbs. Others think it is slightly more. What happened? I guess money doesn't solve all ills.

At the start of the new year, it is customary  for everyone to share their resolutions.  Would you do better keeping your goals to yourself?

I wonder, what has Oprah's best friend been telling her? As a nation, have we returned the love she good-naturedly gave to us?

For instance, in a recent USA Today article presenting the results of a Gallup Poll of 769 overweight adults showed that 68% exclaimed that their friends and relatives had helped them more than hurt them in their efforts to lose weight. On the other hand, 34% reported that their family and friends were a hindrance to them. Respondents reported that they were often teased and led off-course from their goal. Some friends surreptitiously attempted to distract them from their exercise routine.

Rivalry, backbiting, and envious behaviors can destroy a friendship, no doubt. Particularly troubling though is that these immature behaviors among friends can prove deadly for African Americans and Hispanics. Excessive body weight is a known risk factor for diabetes, high cholesterol, hypertension and heart disease.

    * For women, according to the American Obesity Association, Blacks have the highest prevalence of overweight (78 percent) and obesity (50.8 percent).

     * For men, the Latinos of Mexican descent have the highest prevalence of overweight (74.4 percent) and obesity (29.4 percent).

 Self Denial- Leads to Group Denial

To further complicate matters, a Dana-Farber Cancer Institute and Harvard School of Public Health study showed that overweight Blacks are two to three times more likely than heavy whites to say they are of average weight. Hispanic men (not women) also had this misperception according to a study led by Dana-Farber Cancer Institute and Harvard School of Public Health researchers.

Maladaptive friendships and cultural acceptance of higher body weights and heavier body shapes add to the confusion.  A best friend or loved one’s favorable perception is often as impetus for seeking to lose weight. Perhaps as individuals we don’t select to work on losing weight because as a group, we don’t think we need to.  Hence the poor advice received from friends.

 Help your Friend- Help Yourself

 An oft cited research study conducted by researchers at Harvard Medical School and the University of California-San Diego found that when one person loses weight, others around him or her are more likely to lose weight as well. The significance of this study is not diminished with an increase in distance. A person’s weight loss or gain impacts friends or family whether they live one-tenth of a mile or one thousand miles apart.

So the next time a friendly gleefully confides that he or she is trying to lose weight, give encouragement and offer support. If you really want to go the distance, volunteer to serve as an ‘accountability partner.’ Offer to graph charts, monitor progress, discuss new diets, accompany to the gym, and compliment success. You may receive thanks from your friend and your own body.

Maybe Oprah could use a little support too? Let's send her some love. Why not send her an email or start a chain letter showing acceptance, but most of all-- caring. In so doing, she'll get what she's craving most-- a nation of truly really best friends.

Dr. Mead, PhD, MBA, MA http://www.ishareknowledge.com is a consultant specializing in human behavior, school and social psychology. She can be contacted at: tonya.ishareknowledge.com