I belong to an organization called Angels That Care {ironic, ain' it?}. ATC's goals are to help people abuse victims and educate the public about the issues that are involved. The message board proves what experts are saying: abuse is reaching -- or has reached -- epidemic proportions. In the case of the message that triggered the short response you are about to read, a woman wrote to say that she was being abused by friends. She said she would provide details if the group could 'guarantee' help. ATC owner and monitor Marcia Duning asked me to respond. I decided to post a copy at Author's Den in the hope of getting feedback. Having been a teacher and therapist {as well as mother, grandmother, writer &...recovering nut?], I've been thinking of putting together a self-help e-book. Think I should? Would you like to contribute hints? What self-help methods or 'tricks' do you believe in? What is "normal?" Should we shoot for it or ignore it? Let me have your thoughts. T h a n k s, 'Pea'

There is one person that I guarantee can help.  That person is you.  Every good self-help book I have read -- and I have read a l o t -- emphasizes the "self" in self-help.  Because the thing is, if we do not find ways to increase our own feeling of self-worth, we project our self-hatred onto others. In other words, we think they hate us, because we hate ourselves [and there are always people who will 'cooperate' by acting hateful].  S__, honey, no one can m a k e you feel bad about yourself. Honest! You have to allow it to happen. . .in a way, want it to.   What your mind and heart are saying to you is: You are all the bad things people say {or think they say, or think}.  What can you do about it? Every time you feel yourself disrespecting yourself, STOP and substitute something good about yourself. Make a list of a l l the things you like about yourself, and pick one. Next time, pick another. Doesn't matter what it is. Can you talk? That is a good thing. Do your legs and arms do what they are supposed to? That is a [very] good thing. Do you see where I am going? Maybe you have a nice laugh. Maybe you have a strong chin. Maybe you have fought hard to survive. Write the best thing about yourself 50 times, or a 100. Or more!! Then go do kindness for a friend or family member or stranger. Now you have one m o r e good thing about yourself to
put on your list.
If you can afford short- or long-term therapy, go for it. If not, read some of the books in the self-help section of the nearest public library. Social Services may be able to find a counselor you can afford. Ministers offer counseling free.
There is a Great Spirit who is not only willing to help, but wants to. Doesn't matter if you call it god or something else. It is there.
You are made in its image!
Please keep in touch and let us know how it goes.
Many of us -- if not all -- have had to fight for self-esteem. It is a battle that has to be fought many times, but when you win, wow. It is a wonderful feeling, I'm here to tell you.


Love from us all. . .and most of all, yourself.


'Pea  {Marcia calls me Pod:) }