...jokes for itself?...

~ Two and two used to be four. Then they went on
the Jerry Springer show.  Now it's,
"You did it with. . .HOW MANY~?!?"

~ Candy is bad. So is breathing.

~ The greener a vegetable is, the better it is for    you.  
  The greener a vegetable is, the harder it stares.
   The greener a vegetable is, the prettier it will   make you.
    The greener a vegetable is, the more it deserves to be shared.
     I am going to share mine with you. (Feel pretty yet?  Green??)

~ Jesus didn’t say much. He was too busy promoting Peace, Love, and Forgiveness. Old
Testament didn’t, so O. T. lovers tortured and
killed him.  Then they tracked down his followers.
A few lucky sods escaped.   Naturally, they
had to come out of hiding to hunt for eats. Jesus had said not to steal, so they disguised themselves
and went job-hunting. All the bosses turned out
to be Old Testament types.    Do the math.

~ One thing about having Halfheimers, you don’t have to. . .what ?

~ Most Americans made New Year’s resolutions. Can we help it if we have Halfheimers?

~ Authors get famous and end up with yachts and movie contracts. Read the sentence that follows "resolutions."

~ What?

~ Make-up doesn’t work as well as it used to.

~ The devil invented "exact same."

~ S/he did it on the exact same day that she made it impossible not to say "bottom line."

~ Parse the sentence, "S/he bit hi/r tongue." Now tell me why we don’t switch to non-sexist pronouns. Got nothing to do with comprehension,
that’s for sure.

~ Remind me what "parse" means.

~ Add "whom" to "exact same." [Not every whom,  dummy. Just those irritating ones that are only found in books.  Who says "With whom did you go?"  I will tell you who.   Someone who don' have a Who to hang with!]

~ Whenever possible, a sentence should end in a preposition.
   Uh, oh.
  Make that, Whenever possible, a sentence is something that a preposition should end at the end of.

~ Something like that.

~ Clowns and jesters are looked down upon. So
are policew/men, firefighters, nurses, people who
shovel up messes that would kill us if allowed to
Pile High and Deep, artists [especially poets],
teachers, farmworkers, 'cet.  If you cook or sew
or fix or mend or build or make the mistake of
caring for children. . .get the idea?

~ At least Martha Stewart worked. Enron execs andtheir ilk. . .never mind. Don’t want to sully my keys.

~ Think I won’t do this again, you’re wrong.

~ Unless my Halfheimer’s gets wor--. . .what??



 

(c) Phyllis Jean Green
(c) Peajay Gee
                 January, 2005