A discussion of techniques for writing tight narrative.

Fiction Craft: In Writing, Less Is More

By

Robert Ferrier
(rferrier2.cox.net)

Writing offers a buffet of ironies. High on the menu is the discovery that words are the enemy.

Too many words spoil the recipe. Cut, revise and rewrite, because tight writing sells.

Avoid anything that slows the reader. The "fog index" includes wordiness, capital letters, multiple syllables, adjectives and adverbs. Remember that every punctuation mark makes the reader pause. So feel guilty about unneeded commas.

There are several techniques to reduce wordiness and thus increase sales.

I. Tighten writing in the following ways:

A. Pare Excess Words

Choose transitive verbs over forms of "to be." Emphasize nouns, verbs and metaphors, forms that strengthen narrative and reduce the need for adjectives and adverbs.

Revise often. While writing the first draft, focus on content without worrying about extra words. Start paring words in the second draft. In his book On Writing, Stephen King suggests that "2nd Draft = 1st Draft - 10%." If you've written 4,000 words, pare 400 words in the second draft by cutting adjectives and adverbs and tightening sentence structure.

Willam Zinsser, in his book On Writing Well, abhors wordiness:

"Clutter is the disease of American writing. We are a society strangling in unnecessary words, circular constructions, pompous frills and meaningless jargon."

"...the secret of good writing is to strip every sentence to its cleanest components. Every word that serves no function, every long word that could be a short word, every adverb which carries the same meaning that is already in the verb, every passive construction that leaves the reader unsure of who is doing what -- these are the thousand and one adulterants that weaken the strength of a sentence."

Perhaps Zinsser waxes eloquent in praise of brevity, but he makes his point.


B. Emphasize Single Syllable Words

Single syllable words pack punch and speed readers through copy. As an exercise I wrote this passage:

Here you peek in the heart of a scribe...

A scribe is but a lens who guides light to the "screen." The work is all. When you have read the page do you talk of the lens?

You speak of the work.

The scribe dies; the work does not.

Feel pain or joy as you read the work.

Yet the scribe knows joy as work takes shape, not when read, praised or scorned. By then work feels like cold ash to the scribe, who looks to mine new ore.

Try the above exercise. You'll be amazed at the power and economy of your words.

C. Seek Critiques

Self-editing leads to copy flaws. Reading your work in a critique group flags the flab and opens your mind to fresh approaches. Before the meeting, read the piece aloud. If your voice trips over a word or phrase, cut or revise. Bring the second or third draft to the meeting, and the critique group will improve it even more.

D. Read Good Authors

Works by Ernest Hemingway, Elmore Leonard, Gary Paulsen, Cynthia Rylant, Paula LaRocque and Mitch Albom all feature tight prose. Learn from them and other masters of craft. Note their sentence structure, verbs, word choices and dialogue.

II. Hone Fiction Techniques by Cutting Words

A. Dialogue

Fiction dialogue mimics life, where people talk in spurts, not speeches. Listen to conversations in restaurants and waiting lines. You'll hear nouns and verbs instead of adjectives and adverbs.

B. Opening Hook Sentences

Read the Hook section of Inscriptions Magazine each week. Bev Walton-Porter selects examples of lead sentences that pull readers into the book. These openers are brief, visual and intriguing. Long leads pave the road to rejection.

C. Viewpoint

Put readers inside viewpoint characters by describing physical senses -- sight, sound, touch, taste and smell. Reinforce the physical senses with emotions, thought and intent. In writing viewpoint, nouns, verbs and metaphors work better than adjectives and adverbs.

D. White Space

White space sells. Large blocks of text signal "slow read," so editors look for short paragraphs and dialogue, especially in chapter leads.

In summary, words are writing's paradox. We need them as tools, but when used to excess they weaken our product. Treat the first draft as a starting point and "kill your darlings," the phrases that don't fit. Learn to edit your narrative. Then trust your critique group, submit your work and hope for a sale.

Suggested Reading

King, Stephen. On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft. New York: Scribner, 2000.

LaRocque, Paula. Championship Writing: 50 Ways to Improve Your Writing. Oak Park IL: Marion Street Press, Inc., 2000.

Strunk, William Jr., and E. B. White. The Elements of Style. New York: Macmillan Publishing Co., Inc., 1979.

Zinsser, William. On Writing Well: An Informal Guide to Writing Nonfiction. New York:
Harper & Row, 1980.

Copyright 2002 Robert Ferrier