He wasn’t.

He responded to crocodile tears, a fake smile, gossip.

I thought he appreciated creativity and fairness.

He was just like all the rest in the circle…using whoever he could to get what he wanted. Siding with insecure girls who bullied other girls, talked crap about others, stepped on hard working girls who did the right thing; fat, drops of fakeness sliding down their cheeks as they stroked his needy ego.

Yep, he was just like every other insecure guy attached to a strong, independent girl who didn’t stroke his ego on a daily basis, who didn’t offer him the fairytale damsel in distress routine, who didn’t cry out, “She hates me! She’s playing you! Off with her head!”

So, he fell for it…or should I say her.

He fell for the whiny words of untruths she used to turn his head away from truth. He was just like all the rest, use girls he could use--to make himself look good or to do his dirty work mainly--and cave to girls who used him.

Interesting.

I had no use for guys like that. It was fine with me if he no longer needed to converse with me. I regretted that we had been friends for so long--almost since Kindergarten--before she strummed her sad tune of lies his way to gain power over him. I didn’t care. I could do without both of them. I was hurt, but I couldn’t care enough to waste positive energy on the game. And it was a waste of positive energy.

Nobody--except God--had power over me--except me, and that’s how it would be...forever. I didn’t want to control them or their emotions, and I didn’t want them to control me and how I felt about any choice I made.

I never could understand those girls who cling to their guy after he’s caved to another girl's wiles.

What the hell is wrong with them? I always said if my guy walked away to be with another girl, she could have him. I broke up with my first boyfriend because he cheated. Obviously you don’t belong together. Same with friendships. Why waste good, positive energy trying to hang onto someone who doesn’t want you in their circle?

They’re not worth it.

A cheater is not worth a bullet, either. Walk away. Let it go.

The exchange of positive energy was great while our friendship lasted, but now it’s time to move on to a better me.

I’m not a game player. Not that I am not clever enough to play games with people. I choose not to expend my energy doing it. I have more important things to do than play games, or be sarcastic about others’ accomplishments, or make others look bad so I can look good, or attack another because I don’t have commonalities with a mutual friend. I prefer helping people who don't roll their eyes at my help. I prefer helping people who feel like I'm an equal, not subservient.

My philosophy is, if I do what I am supposed to do, I don’t need to make anyone look bad so I can look good in the eyes of others. I am by no means perfect, but I do what is right and I won’t bite the bait that involves me in some sort of game.

Selfish?

Yeah, probably. If someone hurts me by standing outside an open door to eavesdrop on a conversation they are welcome to join, then yes… I will disconnect. I don’t play. I don’t sneak around trying to learn information about people so I can spread it around to “my friends” so I can make a person look bad and myself look good. Why should I? I am a good person and I know it. I’m not a narcissist who plays victim to everyone in my circle to gain sympathy and faux friendship for myself while attacking good people.

If someone rolls their eyes away when I share my accomplishments, I stop sharing. They’re not real friends. I walk away and relish my accomplishments, my successes. They don’t appreciate my news because they are not proud of themselves and what they have accomplished. Bullies feel they don’t have any accomplishments to share that equal or better mine, so they roll their eyes and talk down to me like I’m lesser a person. That’s what insecure people do. I cannot help them gain security, be comfortable in their own skin, so I step back from them, but that makes me the bully because I left the circle of negativity and was no longer there to play the game, be their pawn.

I cannot be a part of a circle, or so called “family” who uses others to make themselves look good. They should, for all purposes, make the right choices and make themselves look good.

That’s the difference between a bully and the good people they attack. Good people make good choices. Bullies attack good people for making the right choice. But when it comes to making myself happy, is it more important to make the right choices or make the bully happy?

I always tell people the basis for bullying is about jealousy and it is. It is because the bully is not confident enough in decision making to make the right choices, so she leans on a good person who makes good choices and uses that same good person to gain power and proclaim that power to the world.

"Poor pitiful me.

"I am a narcissist.

"I am a victim.

"See what she did to me! I’m so much a better person than her! I need you to be my friend because she has success and I have nothing so I will take you. She walked away from you. I'm still here."

It’s important for me to find my own happiness, make the right decisions, and not attack or judge others because I don’t get what I want. The world is full of attackers. It certainly doesn’t need another one.

For change to happen, the world needs good, honest people who make the right choices, who don’t judge others, and who embrace forgiveness.

The most effective strategy to finding happiness when dealing with a bully is to walk away from the game toward personal happiness.

Shine your light!

Spread your positive energy! Leave the negative energy of jealousy and spite and revenge behind.

When a person is happy being alone, comfortable in her own skin, bullies have no effect.

It’s goodbye bullies.