Annie, one of David Forsyth's beloved cats, sits outside on the redwood deck of his Manhattan home, just staring off into the distance. It would be easy to anthropomorphize her expression as one of being forlorn, as if she'd lost something important in her life.

David Forsyth does himself think of Annie as a person; he treats her as a very good friend. In fact, he seems the type of man who would be concerned with the welfare of any living thing. Yet, this gentle man lives under the lingering shadows of one of America's most controversial episodes of violence . . . the war in Vietnam.

Living in that country from 1968 to 1969 as a Navy corpsman attached to the First Marine Division, David Forsyth is now, twenty-one years after his Vietnam experience commenced, in the "emotion business."

David Forsyth is an actor, a ten-year veteran of daytime television "soaps."

Only now has his career truly come full circle, with a role that addresses and plays on his own memories and the feelings they evoke. Now "fortyish," soft-spoken, articulate, Forsyth has been playing John Hudson, a Vietnam veteran on NBC's ANOTHER WORLD, for more than a year. The role was created specifically for him, with his input primary to the development of the character.

"I was asked if I was willing to explore the part, to delve into issues regarding Vietnam, and it was at a point in my life when a lot of that stuff was coming back to me. That's where I was with it and I thought this would be a good thing." He pauses and laughs shortly, with seemingly more irony than humor. "I don't know how GOOD it's actually been for me, but it's certainly been interesting."

As with other vets, who've begun to place Vietnam into perspective vis-a-vis their present-day existence, Forsyth finds that the role he "plays" puts him right in the center of all vets' lives and the various issues that pertain to them. Whether or not he set out to do so, he finds he has now become a "media representative" of the collective Vietnam-era veteran.

"I get fascinating mail from people, about people: wonderful stories, all very touching. This character means something, which is for me really heartwarming. I'm glad some of the things I've been able to bring to the show have meant something to other people. It's opened up dialogue between veterans and their families, and that's a good feeling. So, on some level, I've made a significant contribution just by being able to play this character."

Forsyth remains somewhat self-effacing, even with knowing his portrayal of John Hudson is one that goes daily into countless households. Yet the actor sees this profound effect as a gift he receives from those he touches, rather than something brought on by his own abilities. "Recently, I spoke at a college in North Carolina. Afterwards, a lady came to me with tears in her eyes; she just had to say what my part on ANOTHER WORLD meant to her and her husband, who'd apparently never spoken about 'Nam all these years. It wasn't until he started watching me on television that he finally went to her and broke down, crying. He told her everything."

The impression this left on Forsyth is evident as he hesitates and then continues, his voice deepening with emotion. "I had to hug her. If it all came apart tomorrow, if I fell through the cracks as an actor, it wouldn't matter. It'd all still be okay. That one moment made it all worth it, knowing that I made a difference."

But, getting to the point where he is able to not only deal with everyday life, and willing to expose his vulnerabilities, to dig deep down to a part of him which he tried for so long to deny, has been an arduous journey for Forsyth.

"Substance abuse? Yes, I came home that way; I don't know many who didn't. I had two years left in the service during which my abuse developed, and it's been a long road back. It's only been for the last four, five years that I've been clean." What about Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder--a condition affecting many vets. "A collective term. I don't believe anyone escaped it, whether they were in Vietnam or not. Our nation as a whole was touched. Who wasn't, in some way? It was a trauma unacceptable on every level, backed by no one except some large corporations. It was a war machine, all about politics."

Why, then, did he get involved? Coming from a military family, David volunteered, enlisted . . . sure he knew what to expect. But, "Growing up in the military and enlisting in it were two different things," he comments.

"When I started college I didn't have any idea what I wanted. It all seemed so pointless. I was tired of hearing everybody complain and run from the draft. They were in school not for an education, but just to get the grades to keep them out of the draft. It was an education of avoidance. I got sick of it and because at that point I had no idea what to do with my life, I went straight into the service."

When David came home after his term was up, he tried various lines of work. "I started business school and didn't like that. I decided to go into medicine instead; I stayed in pre-med for three years. Then the Florida city where I was living while going to college was starting a paramedic unit, but had no one with any experience in trauma medicine. I became involved; after working with the unit for two years, I served on a panel to help establish the academic and licensing standards for paramedics in the state of Florida, and also taught paramedics and conducted public education programs."

How did this journey through other fields lead to his present calling as a nationally recognized soap star? "I was on a paramedic call one day at the Florida Atlantic University. When we were finished, I walked through the administration building and picked up a career brochure that caught my eye. I read it and thought, 'Acting? That might be better than THIS.'"

THIS was a growing frustration with the machinations of civil service, the sameness, the day-in and day-out monotony and lack of upward mobility. And acting seemed a way for Forsyth to advance on his own merit, get his life going and move on to a point he felt he should be with his life.

So, he went back to school and studied acting and directing, which led to work in commercials, industrial films and such, which led to an audition by invitation in New York City, and three days later--David Forsyth became a "soap star."

That was about ten years ago. In that time, David Forsyth went through three different roles on three different shows--TEXAS, SEARCH FOR TOMORROW, AS THE WORLD TURNS--all the while not yet having reconciled his Vietnam experiences within himself.

"What happened was that, as with many vets, I shut down my emotional system, just SHUT DOWN. If you go to veteran's rallies, for instance, you'll see a lot of long-haired hippie types wearing medals from shoulder to waist--highly decorated war veterans who look as if their lives ended in 1968 . . . and it's true , they did. For them, their emotional lives just plain stopped."

Discussing the experience itself and the men and women who lived it, and the effect it continues to have on so many of them, David Forsyth's feelings are revealed by a sudden glistening of his eyes.

"There was no place to go, nobody to talk to when we got back, except to other veterans. The VA shut us out, and regardless of what the VA says, they've been little help to veterans, except for the obvious--such as education programs. Psychologists didn't know what to do. Nobody seemed to have any sense of responsilbiity towards the Vietnam veteran. Everybody wanted to close their eyes.

"Consequently, the guys who came home had nowhere to turn, were ashamed and embarrassed by what they'd seen and participated in, by what they were told to do and how they were lied to. So, their emotional systems just shut down. They just ceased to operate."

As he continues, it becomes clear that Forsyth considers himself to be part of a greater healing process. "Today, we find to a great extent that these people are stuck, still emotionally eighteen or nineteen years old. There's an awful lot of catching up they have to do."

As John Hudson, David Forsyth set out to pay more attention to the "Vietnam vet" aspect of the character, to give it more reality. He wanted John Hudson to appear as human as the next guy, with his own set of problems, just like the next guy. However, Vietnam was high drama, and television is very high on drama. Sometimes actors "win" in terms of imbuing their characters with the realism they want, but that didn't happen in this case. The characterization of John Hudson has focused more on the psychological trauma resulting from repressed emotions, rather than the actual personality make up of a veteran.

"I tried to impress upon them that this guy (John) has had no recovery time, no social dialogue about his experience at all. He stayed in country twenty years, so he's had no healing process. It would've been good to write him as having an attitude representative of someone who lived in 1968, because things were very different in 1968 than they are now." He sighs. "But they (writers, producers) never got that point, and I had to let it go."

This is typical of this actor's personality; he is a sedate individual, with a quiet but mischievous sense of humor. He lives with his Annie and another cat in a Manhattan penthouse decorated in soft colors and understated good taste. Photos of family and friends are everywhere. He proudly exhibits a studio shot of his mother as a young woman, and tells about how he let her know in no uncertain terms that he wanted her to give him that picture.

He's a man who, if one were to meet him socially, would never APPEAR to have suffered through Vietnam. But he did, and he deals with it daily--as does every veteran--consciously, with intention, even scripted, for him. He works with the show's writers to bring truth and honesty to the part, drawing from his inner self. "Sometimes issues don't ring true as seen from the writer's eyes," he remarks. "I don't blame them, since they have no basis in experience." He offers this analogy: "If you ask a woman who's been raped to write a story about rape, you can't tell her afterwards that she's wrong about it."

Is his portrayal of John Hudson a catharsis for him? "It can be." He then hesitates . . . . "It has been. Yes. There are certain aspects I've made into vehicles to work for ME. The benefits were that I was able to verbalize deep and meaningful feelings while being able to present it in the safe context of entertainment. So, more layers of the onion were peeled off, making ME feel better."

Yet, despite his chosen career and the role he has intentionally taken on, Forsyth denies that he must face such emotions every day. "The character was in Vietnam, but the producers and writers have been careful not to put him on a soap box. And if, in fact, I DID deal with it daily, I would've been a basketcase long ago. I can't do that. I just can't. Subliminally, to some extent, I do carry Vietnam with me every day, but to have to deal with it more overtly is something I simply could not do."

David Forsyth has learned how to call upon that which makes John Hudson starkly real, for himself and for others, as well as to override that which is not needed during a day's work.

Looking at Annie, still sitting outside, Forsyth directs advice to her which seems to sum up his own acceptance of the hand life has dealt him, and the inner strengths which allow him to continue and, indeed, overcome. "My neighbors had a cat, but they moved, Now, Annie is very lonely. Annie," he says, "don't do that to yourself. Come inside. Don't just sit out there and cry."