Changing your thought process will be the most challenging obstacle you will ever encounter.  It is a never-ending battle between negative and positive thoughts.  The ability to process, dissect and sort these intrusions will depend on your perception and willingness to change.   But how can we change, or do we really want to?

Those questions dominated my own thinking after the days, weeks and years following 9/11.  Up until this day my life centered on myself, making money and keeping up with the Jones’s.   I encircled myself in this world convincing my ego that this is what life is all about and my happiness will only come from money and materialistic possessions. I was a Stock Broker on the New York Stock Exchange and that’s all I thought I would ever be.  But on September 11, 2001 all this changed.  I was at the base of the towers when the second plane hit and only two blocks away when the first tower fell and what I saw that day needs no explanation.  In my wildest dreams I never imagined I would ever see or experience a nightmare such as this.  Strange as it might seem I was given a gift that day.  It was an awakening of my soul.  Many of us wonder what will we be thinking when we are about to die and for me I was given that answer.  When the first tower was falling I truly thought my time was up and in that instant I prayed to God and asked him to take care of my wife and my boys, and to let them know how much I loved them. There was no thought of worldly possessions, bills to pay or money in the bank.  It was a feeling of peace and calmness that I never before felt or experienced.

  I made it home that day giving thanks to God and praying for the ones who did not make it home.  My life was forever changed but the clarity of where I was now going was foggy and unsure.  The shell of ice that used to encase my vision was now shattered and finding the right direction towards the truth would take years of work.  Most of my life I spent harnessing the words and thoughts of the world so distinguishing those attitudes and teachings was not going to happen overnight.  It is a process that requires patience, fortitude and commitment; it was not easy to immediately begin following the path of God.  The support surrounding me was not uplifting because many of my friends and family were still trapped and captivated by what the world was offering.

However, all was not lost for God opens doors every day and it is our choice to walk through them or pass them by.   One day an acquaintance at work overheard a conversation I was having.  I was talking about the news, how my job was unfulfilling and how getting out of New York City would make me happier. He taps me on the shoulder, now mind you I may have spoken to this man maybe 20 times over a 20 year career, and he says, “Mike, do you really believe happiness is found in a new career or a new home or new city.  Maybe for a little while you may feel better but if you continue to carry the trash with you then wherever you are or wherever you go nothing will change.” Trash I said, what do you mean?  He said it’s the nonsense in the mind that you listen to and believe in; its the thoughts you dwell on that are negative, fearful and filled with doubt.  You’ve got to start to practice replacing negative thoughts with positive ones.  Easier said then done but I worked on this for months and believe it or not it worked.  I slept better, my mood was better and my outlook on life was more promising.  Just changing my thoughts was not the only way I got better, reading spiritual literature and the word of God opened the doors to the life I lead now.  In the process I found pure joy knowing that the blinders I wore most of my life were now gone.  I was so thankful that God sent an angel my way to offer a few words of wisdom that has changed my life forever.  Allowing God back into my life is what changed the outlook I had previously lived by.  It is our choice to make a change but sometimes we need an experience or words of encouragement to begin this process.

My hope is that others will be given that awakening to water the seed within so the growth in faith will mature and bring peace to their souls.  When and how this happens no one knows but when it does present itself take hold and never let go.

In Colossians 3:8 I find words that signify my journey and the journey of so many others:

“But now also put these things out of your life: anger, bad temper, doing or saying things to hurt others, and using evil words when you talk.  Do not lie to each other.  You have left your old sinful life and the things you did before.  You have begun to live the new life, in which you are being made new and are becoming like the One who made you.  This new life brings you the true knowledge of God.”