Be kind to yourself and others. Practice excellent self-care. Sleep well. Move your body. Go to the doctor. Eat well. Practice deep breathing and relaxation. Give yourself a break. Stop being hard on yourself. Extend kindness to other people as well. Accept faults. Forgive quickly. Be generous with your time and attention. Give genuine compliments. Show that you care. Seek to understand.

Engage in hobbies that give you joy. If you have always wanted to learn how to ride horses, dance, paint, draw, write, play golf, play tennis, cook gourmet food, etc… Go for it. Sign up. Start now. If you already have well developed hobbies, be sure to make time in your life for them. And consider whether you can involve the people closest to you and/or consider whether you could teach your hobby to someone else. If you can combine your hobby with your purpose in life or your legacy in life you will increase your happiness even more.

Get involved with an important cause. If you feel passionate about a cause, do something about it. Raise money. Raise awareness Participate on boards. Donate your time and money. Ask how you can get your business or work involved with this cause. Can you donate a part of your profits? Can you host a fundraiser?

Do something that stretches you out of your comfort zone. If you are completely comfortable, you are not growing. Do something every day that stretches you. This could be a phone call, an increase in intensity while exercising, learning something new, speaking up, asking for what you really want…

Pursue what you really want, don’t settle. Go for what you really want. It is far more satisfying to go for the best than to settle for what is merely okay or acceptable. Apply this to jobs, clients, trips, houses, cars, relationships… everything.

Remember your why. When you don’t feel like doing what is important, remember why you are doing it. Remember why you started your business, why you went back to school, why you joined the gym, why you had kids, why you got married, why you developed the friendships that you have, why you got that puppy, why you took the job you have, and so on. Keep a list of your reasons why. Keep this list handy. Put it in the front of your folder file. Keep it next to your computer. Or keep this list in your wallet.

Keep practicing your daily happiness ritual. In a previous article, I discussed the importance of creating a daily happiness ritual (perhaps a gratitude journal, a daily run, daily meditation/prayer, etc). If you haven’t created a happiness ritual for yourself, do it now. If you have one, keep going. The consistency will yield a big pay-off for you. You will begin to feel an exponential increase in happiness after you have implemented your happiness ritual for several days in a row or months in a row. For me, it has been years and years of daily happiness rituals. When you build this practice, it will help you through very challenging times, as well.

Take care of incompletes in your life/do what you can today/don’t procrastinate. Incompletes are those things left undone. Incompletes weigh on your heart and drag down energy. Make a list of incompletes. Write down everything you have started and not finished on this list. Begin making your way through the list. If you started something and you truly don’t want to do it anymore, take that project completely off the table. For instance, if you decided that you want to knit and you bought a whole bunch of knitting materials and every time you walk by them, you feel guilty for not doing it, you have some choices. You could finish your knitting project, you could schedule your knitting project and then do it at that time, you could donate your knitting materials to someone who loves knitting and actually does it or you could put your knitting materials in storage. If you have a list of phone calls you need to make, sit down and do it. If you have a book half done, sit down and write a chapter. If you have a course you are writing, sit down and write a lesson. One of things I like to do is to take an afternoon and try to knock out as many incompletes as I can. I make it fun and put no pressure on myself. It feels really good. And this practice is a a major key to happiness and success. Over time, you will have less and less incompletes.

Have deeper conversations. Go beyond the surface with people. Don’t just talk about movies, the weather, traffic, sports, what you did, where you ate etc. Take your conversations to a deeper level. At a recent party with friends, I asked the question, “What was most important to you this year? What were the big things? At first people talked about trips, events, and then the conversation went to people and family and love. It was a great moment of connection for everyone. Be willing to notice what isn’t said. Be willing to ask if everything is okay. Be willing to listen to difficult challenges. When I got sick last summer, one of my friends would talk to me about everything else besides my illness. If I mentioned a fear that I had, she would dismiss it and say, “Well, I know you are going to get better.” I didn’t have the opportunity to explore how I felt. I had other friends who listened and encouraged me to go deeper and process what I was feeling. I was really thankful for that. My friend who wouldn’t listen didn’t act like that because she was unfeeling, it was just too hard for her to go there with me. It was too painful. But going deeper is a key to connection and a key to more happiness. Even if there is temporary sadness, there will be a deeper level of happiness because of the deeper connection. Be willing to open your heart to go deep with people.

Happiness is a lifestyle choice. Implement a few of these steps to happiness and then notice how your life has changed.

Originally published on my blog.