That rubbery TONGUE if let loose can cause havoc all around. Controlling it is anytime better than walking it.

Well, well. We all have faced it at some point in our career. And guess what, no one likes it. You know it - rumour-mongering, negativity or plainly BITCHING! And this happens mostly during breaks (coffee/lunch) near the water cooler (generally but not necessarily). Have no doubt, this spoils not only one's mood but tarnishes reputations too.
 
Now-a-days, more so, bitching had become a necessary evil. You are not only dealing with deadlines at work but also this highly avoidable nuisance. You don't bitch but you are bitched about.
 
And what are the reasons for it:
 
* One likes bitching. It's free and there is an avid listener present to spread it. It is a habit.
 
* If it is a boss bitcher, whose reference you need, then you need to tread more carefully.
 
* Bitching is an outlet for one's negativity. "If I didn't have that opportunity, how can s/he?" And that is how it progresses.
 
* Bitching can be done just to fill the time.
 
Whatever the reason, a slip of that rubbery tongue can spoil one's future (in the sense your promotion halts or you don't get highly paid job in other company). You can't stop one talking but you can learn to deal with it.
 
You may want to punch the bitcher. Or better still you may want him to taste your tongue's lashings. Or just give him dirty stares! But my dear, that's a big NO. You can't stoop to the bitcher's level. There're ways to deal with it.
 
GROW UP: Did I hear you say, "I am a grown up." I know. I know. But what I mean is mental toughening. You are a nice guy on his first job with no inclination/knowledge of office politics. Listen, observe, but control that rubber (not band, silly but your tongue). If you can do this, you'll not only survive well, chances are you won't have to look for another job.
 
DEVELOP A THICK SKIN: But some day, you'll have to face it. A bitcher won't leave a nice guy alone, no matter if he's a nice guy or no. And it's not nice to hear rumours about you. It spoils your mood and takes your attention away from your work. You don't feel like attending office. So what do you do? Become immune. And laugh it away.
 
YOU ARE TARGETED: This can happen. No matter how efficient you are, a bitcher will always find a point to rile you. Its like, "If I'm not that, how is he." You want to quit. But my dear, what is the chance that in your next job you won't face it or worse than this. So like a brave soldier, stay the course and face it. He'll soon get tired of bitching about you and proceed to another interesting topic. 
 
BITCHER BOSS: What if your boss is a bitcher too. You've found another good job and want to quit the present one. But your new employer needs a reference from your current boss! Phew. What do you do? And there lies the whole story. Tell the new employer about your current boss. Everyone in today's work situation is aware of bitching and chances are the new boss will understand this. He may readily contact your other references and get a good feedback. Fact of the matter is, "confidential" reports are no longer confidential and person writing is not necessarily unbiased.
 
KNOW YOURSELF: I know, you are laughing at me. You of course know yourself (better than others!). And that is what you know. You are goody goody but among friends, haven't you let loose your tongue. You are a bitcher. Avoid it. Among friends, you're out to enjoy yourself. Be easy on fault, thereby avoiding a potential danger to your own reputation and other person's too. Nice, eh!
 
KNOW YOUR CO-WORKERS: Yes, this is most important. A little bit of psychology is involved here. I'm not asking you to be Freud or Jung, but observe. Get to know your colleagues better. Some are by nature a bitcher and some because of your efficiency. You cannot deal with a habitual bitcher except accommodate him. Rest, you've to find ways to please the situational bitcher.
 
REMEMBER, ITS NOT ABOUT WORK ALONE: Yes, bitching can be about anything and everything. You know, you're good at work and everyone else knows that too. So, a bitcher'll find something else. It can be an imaginary affair with a colleague whose company you enjoy. And in no time, the whole office knows and it reaches your spouse's ears too. If there is a level of comfort and confidence-sharing between you and your spouse then such rumours don't affect. Introduce your office friend to your spouse.
 
COMMUNICATION IS THE CORE: There, you are. No matter how bad the situation, right words can always deal with it. Tell him you appreciate him and his work and if there is something he doesn't like about you or your work, he should let you know so that you can correct it. This is the psychological advantage you're giving him that you look up to him and seek his advice.
 
UNDERSTAND BITCHING: Bitching is negativity. Someone is undergoing hard time and he wants you to face the same. And then, there're sadist bitchers. Just to see someone in a tough situation, gives them vicarious pleasure. And there're other bitcher types you'll come across.
 
Just remember, you want to improve the situation and your response should do just that. Loose talk takes place everywhere and it hurts. Some people do it simply because it hurts others. But do YOU want to be hurt. No! So deal with bitching and the bitcher. Its part of office life and more so today.
 
When retired and you look back, you'll thank your sensible nature that you didn't deal with bitching with bitching. And you'll of course thank me too! (hey, hey, for this article, eh!) Cheerio.