Most marriages begins with vows we must both take seriously. Unfortunately now-a-days, this part is sometimes skipped and we come together for conveniencce. I personally think we should take living with someone else more seriously then just following someone home like a puppy and hoping for the best.  There are many grievances in relationships we can avoid; like we must not blame...or get lost in anger and resentment...we must not force our opinions on others. We should nourish and foster trust in each other, and we should be the partner we want others to be. We need to focus on healing and not blame,and shut out negativity, negative declarations  like won't do, don't do, and will never do takes the fun and growth out of a partnership. It's hard work to be married. Its hard work relearning to be less in control, and more considerate of others Its hard work to be faithful and fulfilled mind and body. 

We probably should avoid sarcastic comments, interruptions and arguments. If you're like me, I have constant conversations yeah and neh going on in my head at all times. Sometimes I get reality and fantasy mixed up a little. I guess we need to restrain our gut reactions and try and forgive ourselves and each other when we don't forget. We need to honor each other with the same kindness we give strangers. This is hard for me to do. My significant other and have a hard time not being defensive with one another after 20 years of pent-up miscommunications. I guess marriage for us requires a contract between two minds first and foremost, no matter what sexual orientation, age, or skin color. A good analogy of a successful marriage is - - a horse can't kick while pulling his weight, or pull his weight if he's kicking.