This is a memoir of some of my spiritual journey.

As a child, I felt joyful whenever I learned about Jesus. I loved stories from the Bible. I was always excited when choirs sang Christmas carols. Seeing Jesus lying in the manger spiritually thrilled me. My teachers often said they wished everyone had my enthusiasm.
Once, I was asked to sing a song to begin church service. Since I really didn’t know any religious songs, I sang “You Ain’t Nothin’ But a Hound Dog,” by Elvis Presley. The teachers were polite, but I could tell they were—to put it mildly—a little surprised. Soon, I started singing in the choir at our Christian school. These teachers were very inspiring, and I became especially fond of Mrs. Johnson, my second grade teacher, who had a quiet and gentle nature. I listened to the Christopher’s Show on television. I always remembered, “If everyone lit just one little candle, what a great world this would be.” Even at my young age, I understood the symbolism of that phrase.
My childhood wasn’t idyllic, however. I was molested on several occasions. These horrific events had a profound effect on me. I became afraid, ashamed, and I blamed and hated myself.
I stopped going to church, because I didn’t want to hear or learn about God. I wanted nothing to do with Him. I felt angry at God, though I didn’t realize it, at the time. Refusing to go to church became my defiant way of showing the anger I felt inside.
I kept the deep pain and shame within me, burying it deeper. But by the end of my senior year, I wasn’t able to continue ignoring it. These strong emotions came out in a variety of ways. I had repressed the details of the events of the past, so I couldn’t understand the cause of these strong emotions. Plus, as a child, I was ill-equipped to deal with these feelings.
I sought counseling and started attending a Christian church where I grew in Jesus. After about year, the pastor felt I was ready to be baptized.
For me, this commitment meant so much. I didn’t take my baptism lightly. I prayed about it for weeks beforehand, and it seemed to be where God was calling me to serve. My baptism became a day I will never forget! The joy I experienced is something beyond compare. I felt, for the first time, that I was a beloved daughter of Jesus. Can you imagine how this kind of love and acceptance felt to someone who had been abused? People said I positively glowed that day. I felt it for the first time: I belonged somewhere and to someone. Oh, what a thrilling day! I felt I could finally start my new life.
And a new start it was. I joined the choir. I also taught religious education to first graders. Then, I became a lector and led a prayer group. My pastor laughed at me one day, saying, “Isn’t there anything you can’t do?” No matter how much I did, I felt I couldn’t do enough to share with others the joy I felt in my heart.
I also volunteered in a long-term care facility for older adults who had debilitating illnesses, such as strokes. What a rewarding experience! One of the beliefs of our faith is bringing Jesus to others. This is what I tried to accomplish each time I visited a patient. They were always happy to see me, and in return, it gave me purpose. I took this ministry very seriously. Sometimes I sang to them Mostly, I listened.
During this time, I lived in a community where most of the residents were older than me, or had a disability. I became friends with many of them and listened to some of the fears and concerns of these elders. One experience had a huge impact on me: two neighbors died, and no one noticed this for three days. It created a heavy burden on my heart. It seemed totally against our faith and what I believed. I told Jesus right then that, one day, I would advocate for people who are disabled, so this would never happen on my watch again. The injustice of these people dying alone touched me deeply. Later in my life, I felt blessed to be able to make some steps toward the promise I had made to Jesus.
Later, I helped advocated for a program which would bring activities in mental boarding and care homes. These are homes that provide meals and medication monitoring for people with severe mental illness. There were a few programs offering activities, but some of the residents lacked transportation to attend. Along with others, I advocated at the board of supervisors, and they decided to fund our program. I even got to name it! I volunteered in this program for a year, doing art projects, outings, cooking and a variety of other activities. It felt fantastic to be in the home with the residents where I could see firsthand where they lived and help meet their needs. Again, this was my response to living the faith I had so joyously accepted.
To make things even more exciting, I received an award from the Mental Health Association and was offered a position on the Mental Health Advisory Board, which I happily accepted. This was an honor, as well as challenging. It was difficult to hear the needs of our community, knowing we lacked money and resources to fund many of the requirements. This experience helped me understand the great needs, not only of our community, but communities all across the United States. It brought to mind the passage from the Bible where Jesus weeps and says, “They are like sheep without a shepherd.”
This period in my life was one of much spiritual growth and commitment. It felt wonderful to serve others in this manner. In addition, it provided me with opportunities to learn about the ministries in the parish and in my community. I developed friendships at church, and I went to church daily. Looking back, it now seems as though this was the beginning of a journey for me, though at the time, I had no idea where it would lead. Jesus was patiently teaching me how to love others through these ministries. Jesus introduced me to Christianity and taught me how to live the faith which we profess. How could I possibly have known where my journey would lead!
I was fortunate to be hired at a program that works with people who have severe mental illness. I had found my calling. I connected with them and understood the difficulties they faced on a daily basis. Before working there, I received a degree in Human Services, completed a four-year lay ministry course, and became a state-certified Activity Coordinator.
As I became aware of the problems people with mental illness have, I wanted to share what I had learned. I was interviewed twice on television and had two articles published in our Sacramento newspaper. I was asked to be in a documentary on mental health which should be on HBO in 2010. I was also fortunate to host a television show on a cable station.
I have had a wonderful life and met such caring and faith-filled people. I have a strong desire to share the love of Jesus through books. I would love to come to churches and any place someone might want to hear about the light of Jesus. I believe I have an exciting journey ahead of me, and I am so honored to share it with you. The glorious light of Jesus is within you and around you. Come share in the joy of Jesus!