Everybody comes into this world without skills, without language, and without much ability to even move from point A to point B.
We are absolutely and completely dependent on our parents, or other adults for our survival. Because we are all natural learners, we have to figure out how to operate within that environment, and we do so pretty quickly.
That model of behavior or
communication goes something like this. We want something, either to get closer to something good, or to move away from something bad. Physically or metaphorically.
So, how do we get our needs met? We cry out. We make noise until somebody takes care of us. At the same time, we are "training" the adults around us. If they give us what we want (away from pain or toward pleasure) we'll shut up and leave them in peace.
This works well for a long, long time. So we keep doing it over, and over again. But pretty soon, we're out in the world. Surrounded by people we're not related to. Sure, they may have an obligation to keep an eye out for us, but they are not nearly as motivated as a blood relative.
So that old model of behavior doesn't work so well. Sometimes we cry out, and nothing happens. Or worse, we cry out and we get the opposite of what we want. We get less pleasure or more pain.
Fast forward a few years, and we're in a world where few people feel any responsibility for giving us stuff. If we try the same model of behavior, crying out when we need something, we aren't likely to get our needs satisfied.
The world as an adult is completely different. Living in a purely adult world, we need to change our behavior. Instead of using the crying yields rewards model, we need to learn the exchange model.
In order to get what we want, we have to first give others what they want, or at the very least acknowledge it.
This is the heart of the magnetic communication model. Most people have no clue. They simply spit out what they want, as if that's enough to get it. They are still operating on a childhood model.
If you want to get much better results. Try the opposite. Instead of spitting out what you want, and expecting to be rewarded for your geniusness, consider first finding out what the other person wants.
Then construct your message in terms of what they want, and show them how by helping you get what you want, they'll get their needs met.
This will give you much better results, in much shorter time. Not only that, but they'll likely remember you for the rest of their lives.
