**Rick, a real person with a fictitious name, was diagnosed extreme gifted and suffering narcolepsy early in the first grade. By third grade he stood defiantly before his teacher while stating adamantly, “I’ve shown you twice that I know how to do it, and I’m not going to show you again!” He had turned in a test, void of multiplication math answers, for grading. Needless to say, his parents were called in for consultation… yet again.
A few years ago, an article by another author appeared in These Times Magazine, in which such children were referred to as Twice Blessed. How apropos. They rarely repeat anything more than twice, and only then because they believe we lesser beings need repetition. After all, an extreme gifted got it all the first time and there is nothing they can't learn the first time around. Their brain is like a perpetually dry sponge absorbing everything around them. That article, however, failed to provide critical warnings to the parents of gifted and extreme gifted children. The article herein was a response later published in the same magazine.
Repetition is BO—ring! This extreme gifted child undoubtedly is bored when he or she refuses to perform and/or turns in blank assignments and exams. Obviously, bad grades can be the result of many factors other than boredom, but for Rick boredom was the root, the cause, and he stated as much when he responded to his teacher. While gifted children frequently experience boredom, it is to a somewhat lesser degree than a child diagnosed extreme gifted: whose boredom is extremely overwhelming.
Rick’ seventh grade school Principle advised his mother, “We can’t do anything for your son. He’s smarter than any teacher we have.” By then Rick could out read his speed-reading instructor— 2500 words per minute at 95% comprehension. He could quote verbatim everything he read or heard and instantly recall it word-for-word anytime in the distant future.
It’s as though an extreme gifted child’s mind knows absolutely no limits. Perhaps the door is ajar between their conscious and subconscious brain. After all, the subconscious can call up and deal with 10,000 stimuli per second as opposed to upwards of 10 stimuli per second in conscious capability. More likely, they possess an innate ability to tap into their subconscious at will, while the rest of us have to learn how to do the same thing— albeit, on a much smaller scale.
The very young Rick was and remains a talented artist, but even art didn’t consume his interest or alleviate boredom. Alas, he was dabbling in drugs by fourteen and dropped out of school at sixteen. His mother was pulling out her hair in fear for his very life. From the get-go doctors advised of at least four critical downsides statistically common in extreme gifted persons— 1) severe overwhelming boredom such as the average or even above average person cannot begin to imagine and which often results in 2) deep depression compounded by 3) drug use early on.
Drugs offer an enticing avenue promising escape from boredom and is the only reason such kids resort to using. Otherwise, their incredible sense of logical rejects drug use as the height of stupidity. Last, and certainly the most dangerous of extreme gifted side affects is that 4) an extreme gifted all too often end in suicide by age twenty-seven. By then and if not suitably stimulated mentally, the extreme gifted mentality might become, “Is that all there is?” By this old mental age reflected by singer Peggy Lee, an extreme gifted feels there is nothing left to learn. Yet, learning is exactly what they thrive on and what they do best.
If Rick were to reach a ripe old physical age, he must be constantly challenged intellectually. An average classroom cannot offer such challenges nor will special classes for the gifted, as Rick's third grade teacher quickly realized. The task facing Rick's parents was understood all too clearly when even an expensive private school, specifically for gifted children, could not rise to Rick's limitless abilities. The mission was daunting. What in the world would be so ever changing as to prevent overwhelming boredom, to the point of death being the only viable option, a depth of which average to above average people cannot begin to understand?
Rick's parents were fortunate to live in a school district offering special classes for these brainy kids, at least through grade five. For this period of time, Rick coped fairly well. Alas, it was average intellectual opinion that reasoned these children should be able to control their own boredom by fifth grade end. It may well hold true for the average to above average and even perhaps a gifted child. But, it is a dangerous belief regarding extreme gifted. It is so far from truth, regardless of how much time is spent enlightening an extreme gifted child about his or her unusual condition. To a degree, the scientific and medical communities classify such intelligence as a learning disability: greatly erroneous yet true in light of this unusual gift's slippery pitfalls.
Regrettably, the system failed to advise Rick's parents of a program wherein a child could be prepared to enter the more challenging environment of college as young as twelve— IF the child were in a particular curriculum prior to seventh grade. Rick already was in seventh grade when they learned of the program. Too late.
Beginning with sixth grade, Rick's thin fabric of stimulation began to snag and ultimately ripped apart. His parents' hope for art being Rick's life-saving needle and thread was dashed to the ground in a vortex of drug-enhanced rages and wild rebellion. In their simple finite mind, art was an endeavor unlimited: and that is not untrue . Nonetheless, drawing, designing and painting did not touch ALL Rick's senses, which is a prerequisite for success in an extreme gifted child. They later discovered that his sense of sight, touch, hearing and emotions must be stimulated simultaneously and without fail.
Immediately upon learning of their young son’s condition, Rick's parents sat him down to explain all the gifted pros and cons together with data relative to narcolepsy. And, no, they did not leave out the suicide statistics. This was a wise thing to do, for in short order Rick taught himself to control narcolepsy by means of deep concentration methods designed to ward off sudden spells. He never again fell into an unshakable long sleep. Boredom, however, was another matter. At all times, however, Rick was adamant that he would never commit suicide.
Sadly, drugs— limited to marijuana— and inappropriate behavior were in full force by the time Rick was thirteen. His parents then employed every recommendation, including tough-love responses. In the end, tough-love proved to be both inappropriate and somewhat damaging to Rick, because of a sexual assault when he was 8yo: about which his parents knew nothing until he was about twenty-seven. Still, now they had drugs with which to contend.
Amazingly and despite music being a big part of Rick's home— his father a gifted pianist— his parents hadn’t even considered music. By the grace of God, at age twelve Rick requested a set of drums. His desperate parents quickly bought a set, despite the fact their hearing might suffer. The following year, Rick asked for an electric guitar and before long had formed a band. Within only a few months, he came home one day, from jamming in his friend's garage, popped a tape in the cassette player and told his mother to listen. He was taken aback when she thought it was some famous band. Much to her utter surprise it was his group and his voice singing.
The year after, he asked if he could play the baby grand sitting in their living room. Naturally Mom replied, "By all means, just don’t bang on it." She could have saved her breath. As it were, Rick successfully had taught himself to play drums and guitar as well as to read and write music. He began to play what sounded like a fine classical piece. His mother was astonished and to her inquiry he stated somewhat indifferently, “Oh, I’m just making it up as I go.”
Rick had a hard struggle, and always will, just being gifted to extreme. We only can pray that other such children do not experience compounding this awesome battle they wage with boredom. Until the rape, Rick was incredibly well adjusted; albeit and admittedly, a lack of continual intellectual stimulation would have resulted in drugs and inappropriate behavior, anyway. By the time he discovered music he already was into chemical escape. But, before age 27 he had given up drug use to a more healthy way of living and eating. Today, 2003, Rick is 36 years old.
Still and all, parents of gifted or extreme gifted children need to explore and strive to provide all stimulating avenues for their child who truly suffers. Most of all, don't ever expect to comprehend what they suffer. Just accept that they do. As well, it should be accepted that they will thrive best when allowed to teach themselves with only minor guidance. Teachers and most parents move far to slowly for these kids and this is most frustrating as well as defeating for the extreme gifted.
For this reason, home schooling is especially effective for such children. They are that smart. More is known today than 36 years ago: so, educate self on behalf of your children. The one wise move Rick's parents made early on was in giving their six-year old ALL the medical and scientific facts they had been given. It put Rick in control of self and there is no denying that, if an individual knows what his or her problem is, then he or she can work through it: given proper tools and solid information as well as encouragement that they can overcome. His parents also never ceased to search for stimulation.
Provide all possibilities. In the end a gifted child will choose one or more endeavors truly capturing all of his or her senses. Parents cannot make choices for them: only provide potential solutions. We may not understand their level of boredom and it's to be expected. Instead, we must accept and sympathize and help to find that which truly inspires an extreme gifted. Additionally, let them know we will work with them in whatsoever ways necessary to alleviate this potentially deadly demon.
On the other hand, the child needs to understand that being gifted is nothing of it self, merely an extraordinary ability to learn, retain, then it's up to them to use it for the benefit of both self and others. The key lies in what they do with their extraordinary brain. Just owning one isn't sufficient. They need to understand this or else become arrogant and fail to thrive on a job: because they feel so incredibly superior to both coworkers and employers— even to the point of erroneously thinking they should be given a degreed job without having earned the degree. Quickest way to join an unemployment line.
In the absence of continually learning, the gift becomes life threatening. Most of all, gifted children need to know God from the cradle up. Otherwise, there is no life jacket to keep their head above the drowning depths of that dangerous twenty-seven mark. Last, but certainly not least, we must not assume their emotional growth is in keeping with their intellect. Thus, it is mandatory to look beyond any child's behavior to discover true motivation. The two rarely are one and the same.
— End
**Rick actually is Ms. Quesinberry's son, who was 33 at the time the original article was published and whose name was not used; both to protect his privacy, and because Ms. Quesinberry is a counselor, and at the request of These Times Magazine: who felt the detached mood written from the perspective of a counselor would be better received by their circulation of millions.
Cynthia
God Bless
~Michelle~
Thank you very much for posting this. It is indeed, enlightening.
Carmen