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What’s Fair is Fair

Imagine this conversation between a lawyer reading a will, and a son of the deceased upon learning that he has just inherited a $500 million stock portfolio.

Lawyer: “Don’t take this personal, son, but you are one lucky son-of-a-bitch.”

Son: “Why do you say that, sir?”

Lawyer: “Well, hell, come on, boy. You didn’t put a lot of effort into winning all that stock. You have a lot of people to thank.”

Son: “But my daddy gave it to me. And now he’s gone. Who else is there to thank?

Lawyer: “Listen up, son. That stock portfolio has been in the family for a long time. 90 years ago it was only worth $1 million. Today, it’s worth $500 million. Neither you, nor your daddy, nor your grand daddy had a god damned thing to do with raising its value by $499 million.”

Son: “Well, OK. But who did? Maybe I can look them up and thank them.”

Lawyer: “Son, if you spent the rest of your life thanking those who put all that value into this stock portfolio, that’s all you would do for the rest of your life. And then you could only thank maybe one percent of all those who made it happen.”

Son: “That’s a lot of people. But who are they?”

Lawyer: “Son, every man, woman, and child who ever had a dream and worked to make that dream come true put value into your new stock portfolio. Every consumer who ever bought anything with money they earned added to it. Every tax payer who ever paid a dime in taxes added to it. Every teacher who taught his or her students how to read, write, think, analyze, and who demanded effort from them added to it. Every nurse, doctor, and medical technician who treated you for illnesses and nursed you back to health added to it. Every truck driver to carried merchandise, every farmer who raised crops, every inventor who made your life easier added value to it. But the list goes on. Think of every product you ever used that made your life easier. All those behind every product added to your portfolio. Think of every inspirational thought that others penned in books, articles, essays, and poems. They all helped to develop your mind, and mine. They added value. Think of all the lessons you ever learned in your life. They came from the experiences of others who passed them on to you. They helped make you receptive to this gift that you are now taking full responsibility for.”

Son: “Wow! That’s a lot of people. Maybe I should share my good fortune with them. In fact, I will. Let’s sell everything and give all others their fair share, and I will keep the rest. So, how much do you think I can take with me?”

Lawyer: “Well, son, there are 320 million of them out there. That comes to $1.58 each including you. Here’s your check for $1.58. Spend it wisely.”