The U.S. needs more ideas about how to bring about change among the incorrigible, the diabolically possessed, and the brain dead.  You know—among members of Congress, and those who occupy the White House, and within the membership of those who set the standards of conduct for us all on the Supreme Court.  It’s a dirty task to take on this assignment, but somebody has to do it.  Here is my contribution. 

One day back when I was sharp of mind and keen of eye, I was attending a boring function at the Federal Reserve Bank of Philadelphia.  In the lobby was a computer setup that caught my eye.  It was a computer simulator that let the operator be the “Chief economist for the United States.”  Naturally, I went for it.  The computer was programmed to present issues of rising or declining unemployment, interest rates, exchange rates, and a few other components of macro economic activity.  The operator was tasked to make quick decisions about the appropriate monetary or fiscal actions to take to counter the negative trends the program created so as to keep the economy on an even keel.  Procrastination or bad choices meant certain disaster for the economy. 

On my first attempt, I tanked the economy.  Unemployment became rampant.  People were homeless and starving everywhere.  On my second run, I held off disaster a bit longer.  By my third attempt I had it figured out, and I saved America from the throes of a great depression.  After that, it was duck soup.  I had found my groove and I could lead the country to economic prosperity for all time.  It was a game based on facts, logic, and knowledge of causes, consequences, and solutions.

Now, in my waning years it has finally occurred to me that—we the people—need such a program working for us.  Why not call upon a few good computer nerds and a few economic whiz kids to construct such a program that puts the top boys and girls in each of our three branches of government to the test.  And let’s do it openly so everyone gets to watch—on TV.   

Every member of Congress especially needs to have such a program in front of him or her at all times when the video cameras are running.  All those who believe that tax cuts to the wealthy will stimulate the economy, for example, would see that the opposite outcome will take place.  Or if they hold the false beliefs that cuts to Food Stamps or to Social Security are the appropriate way to pay for wars of choice.  They might even learn that a healthy and an educated population are necessities to a fully functioning economy that produces jobs, wealth, and prosperity for all.

This program might also emit loud mocking sounds that draw attention from others to let everyone know the operator is a nincompoop who has no business holding a seat in government.  I will not go so far as to say they should be pillaged, plundered, or stoned for their stupidity or for their adherence to a bankrupt ideology.  Perhaps a mandatory sentence without recourse to attend courses in how to think, in honoring trust, in being a faithful servant, or in memorizing the Boy or Girl Scout creed would be enough for some.  Offenders might also forfeit all rights to vote on any issue until they have successfully passed the recommend courses in morality and knowledge

Please do not tell me that this brilliant idea can’t work just because, because, because.   That tired old retort only identifies you as a pessimist, and it makes you part of the problem. I have another solution in mind for you that involves raping, pillaging, and plundering—with no recourse, and no way out.  And the rapist is big, fat, and ugly.  Instead tell me and the world about your own ideas that have a snowball’s chance in hell of working.  Not only will I support you, I will help you get your mental blockbuster out to the world. 

And so, my fellow writers and thinkers, the ball is now in your court. It has an internal fuse that will release sinister and diabolical creatures into your lives if left alone, the likes of which you have not seen since your last visit to Washington DC.  Go!  Tick, tick, tick …