Yesterday I decided it was time to get back in the financial markets in a big way. So, I put 65 percent of my savings at risk in a high risk “double beta” security. Conventional wisdom would have advised against risking so much at a time when the market is highly volatile, especially at my age. The market was down, and so I took a chance. Against my instincts, it continued down. In just a few minutes my holdings fell about 3 percent. That amounted to more interest on my nest egg than I had collected in the past 6 or 8 years. I wasn’t terribly concerned. After all, I am second only to Donald Trump as the smartest financial analyst of all time.

The markets closed down in a big way. In the meantime, I had discovered a glitch in the best market software ever produced. Fortunately, the Donald doesn’t know beans about super sophisticated software that can provide insights that even his brilliant mind cannot assimilate. I sent a message to the author who instantly contacted me. After a little back and forth, he agreed that the software was at fault, and he had discovered why. He promised to have it fixed by next week. I had caught him on the road where he had limited access to his own creation. I felt good about it because not many others know about this fantastic program, nor its creator, that allows small investors like me to analyze world markets in a matter in minutes, to find values that others cannot see, and to act on them.

Today, less that 24 hours after my purchase, my account is up 5 percent—much as another source indicated it probably would be. That source also downloads 30 or 40 major indexes from around the world, submits them to continuous analysis via artificial intelligence, while displaying them in such simple format that even geniuses like Trump could probably understand.

Since the markets are continuing their upward climb, I am now going to listen to some soothing (and free) music from Amazon to help me chill out while one of my friends living overseas sorts out the stellar advice, I sent her about some real estate holdings she has somewhere in Europe. She needs the money, and who else could better advise her—other than that other real estate genius. But he is busy learning there is a country named Belarus, it is being threatened by Poland, and Russia may have to intervene. Apparently, that is Putin’s story and he is sticking with it. Trump also just learned that Russia has revised history and now claims that it was being threatened by Afghan terrorists back in 1979, and that is why they invaded Afghanistan. Not many people know that. He learned about it first-hand from Putin himself, so it must be true . After all, Putin does not deal in Fake News.

Oh well, back to my music.