Big Potential: How Transforming the Pursuit of Success Raises Our Achievement, Happiness and Well-Being

"When we help others become better, by being a positive node, we can actually increase available opportunities, instead of vying for them." He says we need to change the focus from "the power of one alone" to "the power made stronger by others". The formula of "be better and smarter and more creative than everyone else and you will be more successful" is an incorrect formula.

Use your own happiness as fuel to make others happier...Happiness is not just an individual choice; it is an interconnected one. (I've read about four dozen books on happiness. The one common element in virtually all of them is that happiness and true gratification is not found in focusing on making ourselves happier, but on working in the service of others in a higher calling.

Mother Teresa of Calcutta was asked once how she could deal with bringing filthy and diseased people in from the streets, bathing them and caring for them until they died. She said that if she were just doing it for herself, she couldn't have done it for ten minutes, but that she "did it for Christ". That was her higher calling. The calling doesn't have to be a religious one, but it's probably always a spiritual one in the broader sense - something that's important to us because it benefits others, including a team.)

"We need to stop trying to be faster alone, and start working to become stronger together." This parallels Japanese management philosophy: "The nail that stands up gets hammered down." It's the team effort that is honored there, not self-seeking glory.

Achor says:

"SMALL POTENTIAL" is the limited success you can achieve alone.

"BIG POTENTIAL" is the success you can achieve only in a Virtuous Cycle with others.

The biggest growth is achieved when you tap into the potential of those around you. A Virtuous Cycle is an upward spiral of potential whereby with each success, you garner more resources, which, in turn, allow you to achieve greater and greater successes... The height of your potential is predicted by the people around you.

As John Wooden once wrote, "The main ingredient of stardom is the rest of the team." (A famous story about Wooden and his emphasis on team that built his legendary run of college championships at UCLA: NBA Hall of Famer Bill Walton was a lynchpin of some of those teams. Wooden had a strict appearance code - suits, ties and no facial hair. At the start of a season Walton returned with a beard. Wooden asked him to shave it off and Walton refused. Wooden said, "Bill, we're really going to miss you." The emphasis on team is what made them great. That was something non-negotiable. Walton shaved.)

Achor found that the greatest predictor of emotional well-being and optimism at Harvard was social connection. Once someone leaves college, he says, it becomes one of the greatest predictors of long term career performance. (Studies also show that those who have strong social connections have better lives outside their careers and that, on average, they also live longer.

To offer the other side of the coin, I have had a highly diversified life, which has had some unique benefits, but it also has costs. I do not have many strong social connections, nor have I sought them out. I have accomplished a fair amount working alone and do not work well in, nor do I seek out, collegial environments. For anyone younger than seventy-three, who is just about anyone reading this, I'd give careful consideration to not following my example, but instead the good advice that Achor gives about developing strong social connections for both career and personal benefit.)

Creating an effective group might seem to be a simple exercise. Just fill it with "the best people". But researchers in Science from MIT, Union College and Carnegie-Mellon, who found a way to measure group intelligence, found that "a team on which each person was merely average in their individual abilities, but possessed a collective intelligence, would continually exhibit higher success rates than a team of individual geniuses...The smartest group isn't necessarily the one with the smartest people in it." (Athletics offers examples of this. Raw talent alone is not always enough. Many decades ago the Los Angeles Lakers obtained Wilt Chamberlain to go along with their already great superstars Jerry West and Elgin Baylor. I thought they'd never lose a game. In the four years they were together, they lost the NBA Championship to the Boston Celtics twice and a third time to the New York Knicks (both paragons of great teamwork). The Lakers didn't make the Playoffs in their final year together either.)

In building a team, "the more diverse your ecosystem, the stronger and more resilient it is... The Luck Factor by Dr. Richard Wiseman argues that the key to "luck" is to vary your relationships and routines so you have access to new ideas and possibilities. Having too many similar people in your network means you're leaving doors unopened and all kinds of opportunities unutilized." This applies to groups too. Having people from different backgrounds and levels can produce better results. What was the composition of the last meeting you participated in? Maybe it's time to change things up. "When we are brave enough to expand power to others, suddenly we find that a huge weight is lifted off our shoulders, increasing our power to lift heavier loads."

Some other excellent points from other parts of Achor's book:

• "Your time and energy are finite, but the demands on them are infinite. You simply cannot meet those demands (optimally) unless you EXPAND responsibility and the work of leadership to everyone (at any level) who has a stake in the mission. (If it seems like you can't get to where you want to go, the answer might be that you aren't involving enough others in the mission itself and are trying to accomplish it by yourself, or with just a handful of people.) ..."When you let go of the idea that only certain people have the power to lead, you can dramatically amplify not only your own power, but the power of the group."
• "If your dreams do not scare you, they are not big enough."
• "Do not compliment at the expense of others".
• "In the working world, we suffer from the pox of comparison praise in the form of performance reviews, particularly those that 'grade' employees on some numerical scale."... A Harvard Business review article by David Rock says: " Few managers accurately know their team members' performance when that employee is involved in many other teams, often doing work the manager doesn't see or understand. Standard performance reviews, delivered once year, are just not relevant to the ways we work any more."
• On a cruise ship: "We found that when (the crew members) were feeling enhanced by the recognition of a manager, they were also more likely to refract this positive energy on to the guests...We soon realized that one of the most powerful ways to enhance a guest experience was to ensure that managers were authentically and frequently spotlighting what their staff was doing right...The more specific you are, the more authentic the praise will feel and the more likely people will bounce it back to others. Big Potential praise shines on the support system that made high performance possible. These dynamics would certainly apply to other venues, not just cruise ships.
• The Upside of Stress by Dr. Kelly McGonigal: "Chasing meaning is better for health than trying to avoid discomfort." Behind every stressor there lurks something that you care about; you can either fight it, or you can use it as a source of energy and motivation.
• Persistence and grit are not always the best course of action...In work and in life, when we repeatedly stumble and fall along a certain path, rather than dusting ourselves off and trying again (and again), it might be time to ask if we are simply on the wrong path. When we persist too long at certain goals, as researchers Susan Segerstrom and Lise Nes found, it can, at times, come at the expense of accomplishing others... And don't wait. The deeper the trenches you dig in your life, the harder they are to climb out of. Get advice from pillar friends and bridge friends to know when to hold and when to fold and how to uncover alternative paths. The sage advice of Joseph Campbell still holds true that we can spend our life climbing a ladder only to discover later than it was up against the wrong wall.

Achor's book offers many researched-based insights than can benefit you and your organization. It is a highly worthwhile book to read in full.