I heard this term be used by my 24 year old daughter, Rebecca, when she called me from Ellsworth Community College in Iowa Falls, Iowa, on November 9, 1999.

Rebecca was in tears and she had just come out of a staffing with her college counselors that over saw a vocational program specifically meant for post-secondary education students with either learning, developmental, or
mental disabilities.

The program was a separate program and apart from the rest of the college programs at Ellsworth.

Rebecca's adoptive parents, Howard and Colleen Holden had placed her into the program with out her having any say. They decided she was not capable of making any life decisions regarding her own life.

The Holdens used the program more as a baby-sitting service than to help Rebecca to find out what she could and could not do in the way of vocational training and job placement.

Lori, Kim, and Beth, along with Dr. Fisher, ( the psychologist) and Dr. Larson, (the psychiatrist) Colleen an Howard Holden and Rebecca were all there for that staffing to bring the Holdens and case-workers up to date on Rebecca's program and plans they had implemented in her behalf.

The first thing that came out of this woman's mouth, is that Rebecca had severely drained them of some of their saving they had been saving up to retire with and on.

See, The State of Iowa Department of Vocational Services under the federal guidelines which states that since Rebecca's adoptiveparents made over the amount of $29,900 a year was not allowed to pay for Rebecca's second year in the program.

As a post-secondary education student with a handicap, the state was allowed to pick up a portion of Rebecca's first year in the program and Rebecca if she qualified under Social Security Supplementary Security Income program, would be expected to pay for her room and board, and the State of Iowa would pick up the Tution, Books, and Supplies and other related services for the first year.

The cost of the first year cost the state of Iowa appproximately $7,000.

The second year, the state would pick up none of the expenses and if the Holdens wanted Rebecca to continue in the program for the second year. The books, tution, and supplies would fall in the Holdens hands to pay and Rebecca would be responsible for her room and board.

The vocational program Rebecca was placed into was designed to identify her strengths, weakenesses, what she could and what she could not do, and also give the vocational counselors some idea of what Rebecca may be able to do with her hands.

The vocational specialists placed Rebecca in a succession of on-the-job training with no pay. Each independent employer was asked to evaluate Rebecca's job skills and asked if they would give her a job working with them full time if need be.

Many of the employers would write great things about Rebecca. However, most of them said that in all fairness they would not hire her back or give her a job for various reasons.

Most of these employers knew that she was coming from that program for students who had mental, developmental, or learning disabilities.

Rebecca's adoptive mother, Colleen Holden stated that Rebecca was financially breaking them, she was an emotionally draining child, and needed to much attention. More than she was willing to give her.

The real heart break came is when Colleen and Howard Holden told Lori, Kim, Beth, Doctors Fisher and Larson, and in front of Rebecca, herself, had they known how disabled she was going to be they would have never gone through and finalized the adoption in the first place.

They stated that the Commonwealth of Virginia withheld certain pertinent information concerning Rebecca's medical and family history and background.

Well naturally, but then again there is a Latin Term every Adoptive Parent need to learn and it is "Cav'et Emp'tor" which means "Buyer Beware".

Child developmental specialists can not adequately diagnosis a child with developmental disabilities until the child reaches kindegarden. Beforehand, the child is simply labeled" Developmentally Delayed".

No one child is ever the same and child develop at different rates and stages.

Often family mental health problems don't manifest themselves until the child gets up there in their teen-age years. Sometimes it may show up when the child is between the years of 6-12.

The fact is that Alabama nor The Commonwealth of Virginia had an interstate compact agreement for child placements between themselves. So therefore, Alabama was not under any obligation to give The Virginia CPS/Adoption Division any information which they had on Rebecca.

If Alabama CPS did have an interstate compact agreement with the Commonwealth of Virginia and had Alabama exchanged information with the Commonwealth of Virginia CPS/Adoption Division.

The CPS/Adoption worker would have found out what the Child Developmental Specialists stated in their report to Alabama CPS in 1980.

The child developmental specialist stated that at no time should Rebecca ever be considered being placed up for adoption and that they only one who would be willing to accept her for who and what she is, is her own "natural" family, i,e, her dad and myself.

That the child developmental specialists foresaw this happening if the state ever moved to "Terminate Our Parental Rights" and place Rebecca up for adoption. They felt pretty sure and all, the adoptive parents would regret adopting her later on down the road.

The Holdens did scream "Wrongful Adoption"! but then again neither my second ex, Roy and I never did anything wrong to Rebecca. We provided for her with the basic necessities of life which are food, clothing, shelter, health care, and education.

We were doing the best we could and The State CPS agency was trying to run our lives, interfere in our lives where no one asked to do in the first place.

Their service plan was standard and but then again nine of ten service plans are meant to fail. The parents must fulfill each part of the plan in the hopes to get their children out of the crutches of CPS in the first place.

They used against me I am a mental health consumer and they used against Roy the fact he had a slight drinking problem. The fact that he drank did not get in his way of getting up every morning and going to work and busting his butt to support Rebecca, myself, and him.

Adoption is not a viable solution to infertile couple who is not able to have their own children. There must be a very good reason as to why the Lord their God would not bless them with children of their own. Whereas the Lord does not want a family the state has no reason trying to create one.

This February 2003, The Commonwealth of Virginia received a payment of $992,000 in adoptive placements incentives which means they succeeded to desecrate and destroy more natural families.

This means they had to terminate more parental rights from parents they could have helped but would not because there is no profit in helping the "Natural Family" stay intact. There is only profit in destroying the "Natural" Family.

Cav'et Emp'tor means "Buyer Beware" and that is what adoptive parents are buyers of another woman's child.

Children are not returnable.

The legal definition of adoption use to mean "Take as Your Own" but no longer because adoptive parents are not rescinding on their adoption agreements and throwing the very children they adopted back into the same child protective system they took them out of.