THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH; (Fact or Fiction?)

From; WikiPedia.com;
The Fountain of Youth, is a legendary spring that reputebly restores the youth to anyone who drinks the waters.  Tales of such a fountain have been recounted across the globe for thousands of years, appearing in writings by Herodofus; the Alexander romance; and the stories of Prester John.  Stories of a similar waters were evidently prominent among indegenous peoples of the Carribbean during the Age of Exploration, who spoke of the restorative powers of the water in the mythical land of Binimi. 

The legend became particularily prominent in the 16th century, when it became attached to the Spanish explorer Juan Ponce de Leon, the first Governor of Puerto Rico, who was searching for the Fountain of Yourh, when he traveled to what is now Florida in 1513.  Since than, the fountain has been frequently been associated with Florida and St. Augustine. 

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On Febuary 18th, I will be 68 years young, and all my life, people have guessed my age wrong.  When I was younger, people would guess my age 2 to 2 years younger than I am; and later in my life, they would guess my age 4 to 5 years younger than I am; and later, they would guess my age between 7 and 10 years younger than I am; and as I got older, people would guess my age at over 10 years older than I am. 

I've never had a face-lift; nor have I done anything to look younger.  Anyone who has ever guessed my age, has come up wrong...not even close.  It happened to me recently, as I had surgery to remove a pacemaker, and I took a cab home when I left the hospital.  The cabbie and I were talking about the surgery, when I told him how old I am.  He looked to the back seat of the cab, and said, "You don't look 68 years old...you look about 55 or 56 years old." 

About 15 years ago, I worked with a woman named Sabrina, who was 38 years old at the time, and the story went like this. 

"Jerry, I hate you."  That's what Sabrina said to me, as we sat out on the patio having a breat during work.  Sabrina said to me; "You're 53 years old, and you have NO wrinkles; no crow's feet; and look at me.  I'm 38 years of age; and my face looks like a dry river bed; look at the crow's feet and the wrinkles look like my face is a raisen!...I hate you," she sain again. 

I told Sabrina what her problems were, "Well, you smoke like a freight train; and you use to much cosmetics on your face.  It's all those chemicals you use on your face, that's the problem...it all makes you look like Bozo the Clown."

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Senior Center Apts; In another of many incidents during my life, I currently live in a Senior apartments on the 5th floor. To live here, a person has to be at least 62 years of age.  One day, I was going down to the first floor, and picked up a woman on the 3rd floor.  A few seconds after she boarded the elevator, she said to me, "How is your visit going?"  And, I responded, "I'm not visiting...I live here."  She did a quick double-take, and got off the elevator before I did.  I guess the woman didn't think I looke old enough to live here. 

Telephone:  This incident is so unique, it will never happen to me again.  Recently, I was called by a nurse on the telephone to re-schedule an appointment that had been made previously.  The calling nurse was looking at my file on the computer, when she said, "I see you have a birthday coming up next month...and you know what?  You don't sound on the phone like you're going to be 68 years old."  I asked her, "How old do I sound?" 

She told me that I sounded like I was 40 or 45 years of age and nowhere close to 68 years old.  I think most old people have that deep, grumpy voice, that she said I didn't have. 

V.A. Medical Center;
After a decade of job layoffs, I went over the cliff and became homeless, and was living and working at the VA Medical Center washing dishes to try to get back on my feet, and for that I was grateful at the age of 60 at the time. 

One day, Sherry the cashier came into the kitchen, and told me that there were two women arguing about how old I was at the time.  She said, that one woman guessed my age at 49 or 50 and the other woman guessed my age at 38 or 39.  As I said, I was 60 at the time.  There is no 60 year old on the planet, that looks 39 years, including yours truly.  I told Sherry, "Sherry, I've never told you how old I am.  How old do you think I am?  Her answer; "I think you're about 50 or 51."  `WRONG AGAIN.

Senior discounts;  This situation has happened to me several times lately.  Let's say I get a hair cut, and want a Senior discount.  The hair-cutter looks at me curiously, and so I have to produce a photo ID, to show that I'm over 60 years of age. 

Well-known people;  There are many well-known people out there, who look younger than they are; Sally Field; Leslie Stahl; Marlo Thomas; Sophia Loren; Martha Stewart, etc.  Have women cornered tha market on looking young?   

Okay...okay...Dick Clark used to have a youthful look. The Secretary of the Treasury (Geitner) looks youthful.   

Any old pot belly is okay;  M-m-m-m-m-m-m...a-h-h-h men don't care about how they look...any old can of beer, a pot belly...and a little sex is fine with them.  So what, if their pot-belly causes an eclipse of the sun...who cares?The only thing that matters to a man...is that they have their "Old Lady' around to pick up after them...

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I don't believe there is a Fountain of Youth, but for those who do believe, it is in their imagination, and that could be good for that person. 

If I look younger than my years...it's probably because I have taken care of myself all these years.  I have never had a face-lift; a tummy-tuck or anything else.  The only thing I do is to wash my face twice a week with those little alcohol pads to remove the oil and dirt from my face.  I think appearance matters, and I don't like the 'sunspots or age spots' on my face.  So, I wash my face with lemon about twice a week, and my face is free from those awful age spots, that makes a person look rotten. 

I also use sun-screen, when I know I will be out in the sun for a period of time, etc.  That's all I do. There's no magic, here!  Taking care of one's self, is a life long propersition, and to do it takes discipline; and sacrifice and will-power.  I'm grateful for the praise and compliments I've gotten over the years, and my appearance, etc.  Now, that I am heading for the age of 70, it means more to me than ever, because I will be entering the Age of the Elderly. 

$64,000 Question:  If I've taken care of myself for over 50 years, and look as good as I can...would I be considered a FREAK?

Answer;  Probably so...

I don't do what I do to look young...I do what I do to stay healthy and out of the doctor's office and the hospital. So, the moral of this story is...'Take care of yourself during all your lifetime...and maybe you'll look younger, too... see ya...

NOTE; Of the 370 articles now on hand, as of January, 2013, this is the only piece that has dubuted in the #1 spot in its category. (Inspiration).  This piece has also debuted and listed on the Featured Page at Authors Den; and listed on the Authors Den Top 100 List and occupied the #60 spot.  Amazing! 

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Coyright; 2013; Jerry Aragon; The Humor Doctor