IT WAS THE BEGINNG OF TIME...and man was out hunting for dinner...and woman was back home baking cookies...pregnant...AGAIN...

FROM; Wikipedia.com; Subject;  Homo Sapiens;  Home Sapiens is the scientific name for the human species;  Homo is the human genus which also includes the Neanderthals and many other extinct species. 

homo sapiens; a.k.a. red necks; honkeys; meatballs;  lame-brains; bimbos; bimbetts; Bozos;  turkeys; weenies; fruitCakes; dead-beats; oddballs; weirdos; idiots; dumb-asses; geeks; horses-asses; back-stabbers; wimps; jack-asses; streakers; flashers; morons;

As time went on...organizations were developed and thrived...

 1) The American MeatBall Association; 
2) Rent-a-Jerk...for all your party needs;
Dumb jokes; corny humor; Male jerks/Female jerks; Mixed up jerks...they're all here;  Come see;  
3) FruitCakes Anonymous. LLC
4) Academy of Bimbos;  (male only)
5) Academy of Bimbettes; (female only); 
6) National Society of Jerks;  (1.3 billion members)
7) International Society of Neanderthals;  (4.7 billion members)

In the year 2013, the United States of America, is honored to have a new political party...The Neanderthal Party;

American's are proud of their country's symbol, which is the Bald Eagle; and the slogan for America; "In God We Trust;

The new and thriving political party, the Neanderthal Party is proud of their slogan, too. "Honk if you're horny."

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As compared to the old countries of China, India and countries in Africa, America was a new country in the West, and was struggling to sustain itself. 

New motto/slogan for  a America;  'GREED IS GOOD'

capitolism;  (definition);  a new way of screwing the American taxpayer, out of trillions of dollars by the worthless Congress; (earmarks)

apathy;  (definition);  the American people, who are candy-asses and couch-potatoes;

The new country called America, was now on the verge of collapse, and following in the footsteps of Italy and Greece.  Self-destruction...for America could be seen in the near future...as the large city of Detroit has fallen, and there would be more America cities to fall.  (the domino theroy) 

In the summer of the year 2013, the US government, was shut-down.  It is suspected that the KKK infiltrated the federal government through the Tea Party, but that is only spectulation. 

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 Did you know?  According to the P.U. Research and Polling Company (PEW)...they found some astonishing facts about these creatures (homo sapiens...which are as follows;

- Jerks have been walking (upright) on planet earth for
  over 641 billion years;
- Meatballs have been walking (upright) on the planet earth for a measly 37 billion years;
= FruitCakes; (kissy-kissy);  are the new kids on the block...as they have only been walking (upright) on the earth for a mere 16 billion years; The visitor/reader can see the list of full descriptions of everything posted here on the Weenie Chanel, or the government channel...C-SPAM. 

 In this new land...there are three things certain in life...

1)  Taxes;

2) Death;

3) An abundance of JERKS/MeatBalls/FruitCakes and associated family members, around you for the rest of your life, to make your life miserable.

For our friends and neighbors around the world, who may not be familiar with these words, I will describe; 

jerk; (description);  naive; foolish; an inconsequential person;  

meatball; (description/slang); an awkward, clumsy or ineffectual person;

fruitcake; (description/slang);  a crazy or eccentric person; a nut;

From; Psychology Today; (Personality disorders);
Has someone said you're acting like a jerk (or worse) in social situations?  Here are 6 reasons why you may have earned this title; 

1) You only talk about yourself;
2) You tell ofensive jokes and use offensive language;
3) You're pushy and intrusive;
4) You're mean;
5) You show disrespect for others and their opinions;
6) You whine and/or complain 

  BILL OF RIGHTS;
(for jerks, meatballs AND related families)

1)  ...this person has the right to act like a jack-ass and/or a horses-ass whenever they have the urge to do so.  

2) ...this person  has the right to wear your multi-colored beanie, with the propellor on top;

3) ...this person, has the right to be the biggest whiner and crybaby on the face of the Earth...regardless of their age;

4) ...this person has the right to act a FOOL (which is quite often) whenever the urge comes to you;

5) ...this person has the right to display the bad attitude of your choice, whether the public likes it or not;

6) ...this person has the right to be the most selfish and arrogant person in the world...after all...isn't that what life is about?  ME?

7) ...this person has the right to act like you're the smartest person in the world...when, in fact, the public knows differently.

8) ...this person has the right to act like you're 'God's Gift To Women.'

9)  ...this person has the right to act like you're 'God's Gift To Men.'

10) ...this person has the right, to act your age... which also serves two purposes:  your age and  your I.Q.  

11) this person has the right to blow out someone eles's candle out...to brighten their own!

12) ...this person has the  the right to sit in their ivory tower, and look down their noses at all the unwashed masses down below. 

13) ...this person has the right to consider him or herself the center of the universe. 

Following are TWO true stories...all
concerning jerks...

#1 story;       Company full of Jerks...

For as long as I can remember in my art and writing career, I have never talked about what I do...that's been a policy of mine forever.  It was in 1988, that I was called by a writer at the Albuquerque Journal, who wanted to do a story of my wood carved scenes. 

The writer came over to the house, took some pictures and wrote the story, which would be published in a few days.  The newspaper article was about a half a page in length, including the text.  What happened after the newspaper was published, I could have never guessed in my wildest dreams.  When I reported for work that morning after the Journal appeared, I could have never imagined the HATE generated my way from fellow-employees.  So much so, that I wrote the following article describing what happened;

You Can't Please Everyone...So, Don't Try

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#2 True story; This is a behind-the-scenes look at a household full of jerks! 

From; Psychology Today; (Personality Disorders)
Has someone said you are acting like a jerk (or worse) in a social setting?  Here are a few reasons why you may have earned this title;
1) You only talk about yourself; 2) You're pushy, intruside, and you're mean; 3) You show disrespect for others and their opinions; 4) You whine/or complain a lot;

 Introduction/summary to this brief on jerks;

If there is anyone who knows about JERKS...I do...I've been there, and I've done that...How can there be so many jerks in one family?

My family consists of ten kids...five boys and five girls, and over the years, we have become a dysfunctional family,  And in this family, we had our proportion of jerks.  Leading the way in the HATE category, was my sister (Ida), who was the most hateful; (one year older that me), followed by my father; and then came my oldest sister, Dorothy.  Two of the boys are alcoholics and one of my sisters. 

Who's the Jerk in All This?
(Personality Disorders)

 "Pushing your buttons" is what these people do best...and, if you're around a jerk or a meatball long enough, you will also consider doing the unthinkable...

1)  You only talk about yourself; 
The one trait that I noticed early on about my brothers and sisters and my father...incredible selfishness.  And, if the conversation is not about THEM...they will get up and walk away!  Go back and take a look at the #1 item on the list of characteristics of the jerk (Psychology Today). 

The jerk is the only one that matters...the reader does not matter...I don't matter, either!  The whole universe is about the jerk...or so they think.  I found out, after many years, that the jerk will drown you with themselves.  My father was always alone...and none of the kids, including myself liked being around my father. 

My father would never attend any of the family functions...such as Little League baseball; a high school graduation; a wedding...NOTHING.  Why?  Because those events were not about HIM.  There was only one thing that mattered to my father...THAT THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE FOCUS ON HIM!  

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Once a Jerk...always a Jerk!  I think the prisons all across the United States are filled with jerks!  Tha't how these prisoners got there in the first place.  Because these people are so selfish, all their crimes begin when they are young...a little shop-lifting here and there.  Then the jerk goes to the next lever of crime...stealing hub caps and accessories off of cars...the then to the nest level of crime...and so forth, until they find themselves in prison.

As a wannabe psychologist, jerks and prisoners, live a life of denile.  All the people in prison are innocent...that's if you ask them.  It's always somebody eles's fault.  They were framed.  There are thousands of innocent people in jail wrongly accused...if you listen to the inmate. 

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2)  You're pushy, intrusive and you are mean;

My sister Ida is a year older than me, so she would be about 70 at this writing (if she is still alive).  I've never referred to her as a jerk...I've always referred to her as a disciple of the devil.  My sister is the worst human being I have ever come in contact with.  She is a person of HATE, and if the reader met her, you will HATE her right away. 

She will put you down, right from the get-go;  She would insult you, and laugh in your face, etc.  She will do everything to put pain in your life...and, than laugh about it.  She truly is the devil...and, she makes no bones about it...she likes hurting people! 

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My sister Diana (younger than me), was probably the only smart one in the family.  You see, she married a military man, and transferred to Memphis and was never seen again.  I think Diana...call it 'women's intuition' or whatever, but I think she sensed there were serious problems with the family, and she wanted no part of it! 

This all occured in 1965, when she was about 22 years, and she has not been heard from since.  No Christmas cards; birthday cards...NOTHING.  About 1993, I asked my mother, if she had called police and reported the situation, and place a tracer on her, and my mother said no.  I don't think my mother cared about her!  I think my mother was like my father...they didn't care about any of their kids! 

My oldest sister Dorothy, did basically the same thing.  She moved up to the northern part of New Mexico, and she didn't come down off her mountain top until 30 years later when my father died in 1996.  I think she knew, too, that there was something terribly wrong with the family.  Dorothy had nothing to do with the family during all those years. 

3)  You show disrespect for others and their opinions;
Talk about disrespect for others.  When my mother was about 50 years of age, she had a histoectomy.  She was in the hospital for a couple of days.  After the surgery, my mother was in the recovery room, and guess who paid her a visit?  My sister Dorothy's preacher.  You see, Dorothy, was one of those Jesus Freaks or another god that she worshiped, and she was one of those fanatics, who would never let go, in her pursuit of saving sinners from the devil...or so she thought. 

These religious people are relentlace in their mission of saving people!  Dorothy thinks all the people of the world are sinners...except HER!  She is lilly-white...has never sinned on earth...and her mission is to save as many souls as she can, and she'll do what she has to to save a soul. 

My mother was still dizzy from the surgery, and when she saw the preacher standing at the foot of the bed, she was apalled, needless to say.  After my mother was discharged from the hospital, she called Dorothy and she told her, in so many words, that what she did was the straw that broke the camel's back, and not to contact her again.  Dorothy would be kicked out of the family, according to my mouther's wishes, etc. 

 My father was impossible to be around...for he would be-little you, and criticize you about everything he could think of.  Nobody liked to be around my father... not even my mother.  He never had anything good to say about anyone...as he thought doctor's were jerks, and out to take his money, etc.  How my mother endured this man for 48 years of marriage...is beyond me.  My mother was 66 years old, and my father was 70 years when they divorced. 

My mother told me TWICE before meeting with Judge Kass, as the divorce proceedings were to start, that if anything went wrong with the divorce and it would not go through...my mother was prepared to poison my father!  She told me, that she would rather spend her life in prison for the rest of her life, than spend another minute with my father.  She told me this twice, and I had a private meeting with Judge Kass, and she quickly approved the divorce!   Living with a jerk for 48 years. and having her buttons pushed for so many years, I think my mother was at the end of her rope; was going to have a nervous breakdown; and she was knocking on the door of the mental institution! 

Although, all my brothers and sisters live in town, except Dorothy, none of the other brothers and sisters attended the divorce hearing, and I asked my mother why.  She just shrugged.  I knew the reason;  All of my brothers and sisters HATED my father, and they didn't want to give him any support of any kind, etc.  Pretty ugly, eh?

Asleep At the Wheel;

My folks and I lived about 30 miles apart, and my mother called me one day...frantic...and told me that my father, this time, was threatening to harm the family.  So, I got in the car and rushed over.  When I arrived, my father was sitting at the dining table, and mumbling and complaining.  He looked startled to see me, as I asked him, "What's going on, here?"  My father didn't answer. 

I proceeded to the phone in the kitchen and called 911, and told them to send the police.  My father heard me, but I don't think he believed that I called the police...and five minutes later, the doorbell rang, and it was two policeman and they came in.  I showed them to the dining room, and where my father was sitting.  When my father saw two policemen, he looked like 'a tree full of owls.' 

What my father did next, was unbelievable!  As the police was giving him a lecture, he closed his eyes, and went to sleep...or he looked like he went to sleep, etc.  A couple of minutes into the lecture by the pokice, he put his arms on the table and went to sleep.  The two police officers didn't know what to do as they looked at each other with blank stares on their faces!

The lecture by the police ended, and the police left the hours shaking their heads.  As soon as my father heard the front dood close, he jumped up to the window and looked out the window, to see the police drive off.  As my father came back to sit at the table, he had a wide grin on his face saying, "I sure got the best of them, didn't I?"

After this little performance by my father, he should have been nominated for the "Jerk of the Year Award." 

Writing Club;

I joined a local writing club in the spring of 2009, and what happened at the end of the year, convinced me that there was a jerk on the staff/board of that writing club.  The rules required the person to get the ad and the payment in about a month ahead of time, so I composed a full page ad, which would cost me $100 dollars and I submitted it by October of 2009. 

November one came and went, and there was NO ad in the newsletter.  The ad was all dressed up for the Christmas season, with a Santa; snow man; holly, Manger Set; snow flakes and so forth.

December one came and went, the there was no ad in the newsletter.  I called and talked to someone at the office, and I was told that they were having troubles, although the rest of the newsletter was published.

This is when I thought I was dealing with a jerk!  Why?  Because somebody on the staff was jealous and/or resentful of my work, and they became an obstable in my path, that was not going to let that ad get published.

I was furious, and I told the person to give me a refund, and forget the whole thing.

Sometime during the first week in February, 2009, I got a call from the office informing me, that the ad was ready to go for the month of March, 2010.  I was furious, and I told the caller, that this was a Christmas ad.  How would it look for me to publish it in March?  I told her again that I wanted a refund and that I would resign the club. 

The ad was never published; I never got my money back, so I considered it a donation, and I resigned the Club, never to come back. 

MY TWO CENTS; Here at Authors Den, I've noticed a few Meatballs hanging around and do what they do best.  They never have anything good to say about a fellow writer; praise is NOT in their vocabulary; positive attitude is not there, either; only negative and critical comments and put-down, etc.  I think what these people do, is to get their name on the 'comments section,' for name recognition...because they have nothing else to offer...and this way, at least they get their warped "15 minutes of fame"by doing it this way...I NEVER respond to these Meatballs .because that's what they want...ATTENTION...and to put-down whomever they can...etc...etc...etc...A pretty empty life...if you ask me...

I think even psychologists have problems with these people...because they are so difficult to understand, etc. 

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So, how do you get rid of these people in your life?  If the jerk is in the family, it makes it more sensitive and difficult, as I illistrated in one of my stories above.  But, for the most part, I stay away from them, and try to ignore them.  I know they have a personality disorder, and that can be explosive...so I just try to stay away...It will take someone in their family, to recognize the problems associated with personality disorders, and try to get the person some therapy.  Even if hell freezes over...it will take lots of patience and persistence...

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And finally...a little reminder about what this article is about;

homo sapiens; a.k.a. jerks; red necks; honkeys; meatballs;  lame-brains; bimbos; bimbettes; bozos;  turkeys; weenies; fruitCakes; dead-beats; oddballs; weirdos; idiots; dumb-asses; geeks; horses-asses; back-stabbers; wimps; jack-asses; streakers; flashers; morons;

Whew!  Will somebody out there kill me, please?

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