Garbage 101.32

Professor Ambrose Penwose, Kiwi
Garbage 101.32

That’s Garbag’e not garbage.

These things need to be told so that those who follow us will know what went on with us, and those before us.

Garbage was invented when Adam threw away the first apple core.
He and Eve did their business openly and found that they soon had to move, as Eden became, “Less of a garden.”

According to The Big Book of Garbology, the first Garbage removal system was developed in 3000 BC in some foreign country, (I guess it had to be, all countries were foreign in those days,) when people dug deep holes to hide refuse, which they would then cover with dirt.
In time those holes conflicted with holes dug, for “Other Things,”
and the Schitt Wars began.
They were smelly affairs and little was written about them.

Eventually they began using the crap for fertilizer, as others wondered why? A seed fell from a woman’s pocket and began to grow. They saw her as a witch and burned her at the stake.
However when they returned to the field, there was a huge watermelon?
“Stay Away!” warned a fellow too scared to mention, “Or you’ll have one of those growing out of yer neck!”

For 3000 years, (Which co-incidentally came to the end of BC,) they feared watermelons until the Pickling Age arrived and vegetables came to be.
I often wonder why they didn’t wonder why the number of the years were getting smaller?

The streets of Paris flowed with piles of garbage. The city had an “Air” about it. Everything smelled like garbage. Everyone smelled like garbage. Dogs were fat from eating garbage. People were fat from eating dogs. A revolution was In the Air.

It was not until years later when the term Garbologist was introduced and colleges began to offer degrees, that garbage and everything else thrown away were fully seen as something to be disposed of.

The first occurrence of organized solid waste management system appeared in London in the late 18th century…although you’d never know it.

When I was a child the job was a tough one. Our garbage was put into empty oil drums in the backyard.
The garbageman walked to our backyard with a burlap blanket over his shoulder which he spread out on the ground. Then he lifted, or pushed over the can, with the garbage going into the blanket.
He then tied the corners together and made a knot, after which he threw the whole thing over his shoulder and marched it out to the truck.

Today, the garbageman rides alone in a truck doing his various routes.
He pulls up to the big trash bins that are left by the street.
He never gets out of the truck.
He flips a switch and a mechanical arm emerges from the truck, grabs the can, lifts it up to the top of the truck, empties it, brings it back down, and leaves it in the middle of the street.

Times have changed.

Penwose Out,
By George
NoPo8