I was shocked to learn that Christ spoke not of judgment but of love— in the 118 sayings of Christ compiled by St. Thomas in the Gnostic Gospels.

For many years I avoided reading the Bible for I was taught as a child that God was jealous and vengeful and to be feared. I imagined I would discover my weaknesses and read vivid descriptions of the hell fires that awaited me.



This changed when I read the 118 sayings of Christ compiled by St. Thomas in Elaine Pagels’ book titled "The Gnostic Gospels," based on a manuscript discovered in Nag Hammadi, Egypt in 1945. I was shocked to learn that Christ spoke not of judgment but of love— unconditional love.

In the Gospel of St. Thomas Jesus said that we should not resist evil but turn the other cheek. I thought evil should be fought. He asked us to love our enemies and bless them that curse us. I assumed that only friends were loved. He said the sun rises on the just and the unjust alike. I was frustrated when evil went unpunished. He said the republican and the harlot go to heaven before many that are outwardly righteous. I assumed only good people went to heaven. He said the path that leads to salvation is narrow. I assumed it was safer to follow the crowd.

Jesus said that we should be carefree as birds of the air and the lilies of the field. I worked hard to build financial security. He said that it is as difficult for the rich to enter the Kingdom as for camels to go through the eye of a needle. I valued wealth. He said it is not the rich and powerful but the meek, those who weep, who are merciful and pure in heart who are content.

No longer afraid I turned to the Bible and was relieved to find that many of Christ’s teachings in the St. Thomas Gospel were also in the Bible’s four Gospels. Bud why was the Gospel of St. Thomas not included in the Bible? More questions kept surfacing as I uncovered an old and heated controversy. Was the current version of the Bible divinely inspired or did it evolve at the hand's of churchmen of various beliefs and purposes? What constitutes being "divinely inspired" and is the Bible the only book God has written through humankind? It seems to me that we are all channels for God’s divine power. Also, if we ever needed God's input it would be today.

Solomon Schepps the author of "The Lost Books of the Bible" said that the compilation of the Bible was not an act of any definite occurrence. He stated that two major counsels in North Africa in Hippo (Augustine Bishopric) in 393 and in Carthage in 397 completed the official Biblical text. Schepps said there was great difficulty in choosing the Gospels and after much controversy only four were chosen. All texts not adhering to the official viewpoint of the churchmen were denounced as heretical and destroyed.

The Gospel of St. Thomas was rejected as it opened by saying that he who understands the words of Jesus will be saved which is in direct contradiction to the chosen Gospels and Paul's Epistles which says he who believes will be saved.

Not unlike Christ’s statement in Luke 61:37 "Cast out first the beam out of thine eye, and then shalt thou see clearly to pullout the mote that is in thy brother’s eye." He said of self-knowledge in the Gospel of St. Thomas, "he who knows the All, but has failed to know himself, has failed completely." Jesus elaborated, "if you do not know yourself, then you will be in a state of poverty."

Finding salvation through faith and self-knowledge made sense to me. Salvation without self-knowledge would make us vulnerable to manipulation while salvation without faith could lead grandiosity and isolation. It seemed to me that salvation through self-knowledge is not unlike psychological counseling. As we "clean up" our negativity we see more clearly which invariable leads to a spiritual birth or deeper spiritual convictions.

Jesus' also said in the Gnostic gospels that we must be neither male nor female to enter to Kingdom. He said, "And if you make the male and the female one, so that the male is no longer male and the female no longer female, then you will enter the kingdom."

Jesus indicates in Luke 17:21 that heaven is not a place but a state of being. He said "For behold, the Kingdom of God is within you." In the Gnostic gospels Jesus elaborates, "See, if the Kingdom is in heaven, then the birds of heaven

will be there before you. If they say to you, "It is in the sea then the fish will be there before you. But the kingdom is within you and it is outside of you." He added "The kingdom of the Father is spread over the earth and men do not see it."

Jesus’ teachings in the Bible and the Gnostic Gospels are similar concerning how we treat our fellow man: Love your neighbor as yourself, judge not, love your enemies, bless them that curse you and turn the other cheek.

How then did Jesus' message of love and forgiveness get used to rationalize wars, witch-hunts, murders, and exploitation? Discovering the Gnostic Gospels made me realize that the written works of the Christian tradition actually represents a small selection of sources. But I am encouraged that for the first time we can look at other early Christian writing and determine their value for ourselves.

G.K. Chesterton sums up my feelings about Jesus’ teachings best, "The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting, it has been found difficult and left untried." This was written in 1910.