Let's make the marriage vows perfectly clear!

So many marriages are dissolving around me.  I think that perhaps couples should have a la carte sheets so that they can choose their vows.  Somehow, the old standbys don't seem to be sticking.  You know,

For better or worse

For richer or poorer

In sickness and in health

'Til death do us part

    I think that divorce would not take couples by surprise if the orginal vows really express the participants' true intentions.  Let's see, how about these?

I promise to remain your lawfully wedded spouse

____as long as we prosper

____as long as you hold a job

____if you build our dream house within 2 years

____as long as you get along with my mother

____until we disagree over the kids

____unless you are diagnosed with lupus or cancer

____until your bald spot shows

____until someone more attractive and or /wealthy comes along

____until menopause or teenagers do us part

The whole process could be shortened by saying, "I take you for better, for richer, and in health.  If you don't hold up your end, I'm outta here."  Or there could be a ten year lease agreement.  How many marriages last ten years these days?  After all that time, surely a clause could be built in that the spouse could consider a weight loss or time management program, that more perks should be offered such as separate vacations. 

The only positive thing about all these divorces is that sometimes, the flaky party goes off with some other weirdo, leaving the normal one free to raise the children and seek a more perfect union. On other occasions, one party starts hitting the other.  Or one behaves like a single dating person.  Sometimes, both halves of the former couple continue the hatred and pass it to the next generation. But always, regardless of efforts of the aggrieved party, there is damage.  Those of us standing by with spiritual bandages just pray that we can help the families salvage part of the wreckage.


Divorce is a part of the shredded fabric of modern life.  Jesus remarked sadly that God allowed it because of mankind's hardness of heart, but that it was never the will of the Father.  In theory, as part of Christian ministry, my husband and I always advise couples to stay together and work on the marriage with God's gracious help.  Occasionally, we are secretly cheering for the person who has been shackled into an abusive situation for years.  Take the divorce your faithless spouse is offering and run, we want to say.  And next time around, be careful how you speak your vows, and how your beloved speaks them in return.