There are many things about ourselves that we would like to avoid. Many people fear change or think it takes too much effort. However, in order to be a better you, it is necessary to face some things about you (even the icky stuff) and just deal with it. Can you handle the truth about yourself? Read on!

CAN YOU HANDLE THE TRUTH ABOUT YOURSELF? Donnett Ekwerike Mar 16, 2003 In the movie, A Few Good Men, a duo of bright young lawyers played by Demi Moore and Tom Cruise are in search of the facts about a young marine’s death. Jack Nicholson plays the part of a superior officer who is suspected of being involved in the death. In one he best scenes in the movie, Nicholson is on the witness stand and is being grilled by a persistent Tom Cruise who demands that he tell the truth. Jack Nicholson faces the fire and retorts “You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth!” Meaning, you don’t really want to know what’s going on, because your mind could not handle it. As individuals we may take time analyze ourselves, run through our actions and reactions, mull over our motives and question our expectations of others. For the most part we consciously face our truths we find and make necessary adjustments. But are we being totally honest in everything we tell ourselves? Is there some area where we fudge a bit because our minds cannot face the real truth about what lies within us? Can you handle the truth about yourself? Sure, we have our reasons for leaving stones unturned and keeping locked boxes in our minds. Yet if we really want to grow, if we desire to see monumental improvements in our lives, it may be time to open the locked box and get to work. We must face our truth and be prepared to utilize every available means to wipe out incorrect assumptions, behaviors and attitudes and replace them more productive ones. What is it that you have difficulty facing? What are some things you know you must address before you can move on and live abundantly in every area of your life? It takes courage, faith and hope, to open closed door covered with mental cobwebs. Courage, because you are facing the possibility of pain in daring to go through the process, faith in yourself and in a higher power to bring you to the expended end, and hope that your tomorrow will be brighter after the process is completed. FACE IT Don’t shroud your motivations, fears and feelings in a cloak of denial. If it is difficult to be truthful to yourself, chances are you may not be completely truthful to others as well. The main reason we fudge the truth is to spare ourselves pain. If we can remove the emotion from the situation and approach the process as simply a search for truth, we can resolve a major part of our dilemma. If you are lazy don’t say you have a thyroid problem. If you are a gossip don’t say you are just doing your part to pass on necessary information. If you are overweight stop saying you are retaining water. If you despise your best friend for what she has stop pretending that you have your sister’s back while you are shooting daggers with your mouth. That midnight rendezvous is not just about sparing your partners feelings. You know you wanted to be there too! Your new mantra: I will face the truth about myself and commit to handling it. ANALYZE IT The next step is to analyze the why and wherefore of your behaviors, thoughts and actions. Why do you think the way you do about the situation? Why do you feel the way you feel? So your achievements don’t match those of your best friend. Why does that make you jealous? Many of our behaviors and thoughts are based on our beliefs and attitudes. Our beliefs are the preconceived thoughts about what is just, what is right and how the world should be. We approach life through the veil of our beliefs. From that base comes our attitude, our response to the realities of life. We do not readily tolerate anything that seeks to change our thinking or shift our paradigm. When things do not work the way we expect them to we change our behavior instead of our beliefs. We all have a darker side that remains hidden as long as everything is right with our concept of the world. Sometimes the dark man/dark woman comes out in the way of jealousy, inhibitions, spitefulness, fear, hedonism and many other behaviors more readily associated with a daytime soap opera. Many of us are very conscientious about our annual physical exam, but pay little attention to what’s happening in our minds. You can eliminate a lot of the drama in your life by doing a mental checkup. HANDLE IT Change is never easy, especially when it requires a paradigm shift. Here are some ways to handle your truth: 1. Mininimize your pain by name things by gentler names. Instead of thinking failure versus success, think of lessons learned. 2. Validate your perceptions against reality. Long held beliefs may not necessarily be correct. You don’t have to tell anyone you have undergone a mental makeover. Simply begin behaving differently as a result of the new truth. The rewards of true honest living will be yours even of no one else notices. 3. Exercise breakthrough thinking. Look at new ways to handle your situation. Whether it is your career that has stalled, a relationship that seems to be mundane or a diet that dies on Tuesday. 4.Commit to excellence. If your desire is to bring out the best that is in you, one step in the right direction is a commitment to excellence in every area of your life. Get the information, clean your mental house, or shed those hindering emotions. In the end you will have yourself to thank for the radiant, more tranquil you that will emerge. ©2006 Donnett Ekwerike