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Bio of my life as an anbuse survivor.
I am a survivor of sexual and domestic abuse:
There: I said it.
Abuse victims have damaged psyches, a hurt so deep that it shakes our delicate human foundation, and leaves cracks that can be repaired only to a certain extent, never completely, because we always remember. The pain is not just emotional, but remembered pain can have physical affects, also. Becoming a victim has nothing to do with straying away from God. Most often than not, the victims have not strayed away from God. This act of aggression and violent control is suffered by children as well as devout adult women and men.
The sexual abuse began at age 4 until I was age 18, and not by the same abuser. Some were family, others were strangers. One was a long time family friend whom I trusted. The domestic abuse began at age 20 thru 26. I suffered alot of physical and emotional pain, and my Psyche has been permenantly damaged. I lived outside myself, a strange being feeling not quite like normal people, looking at the world from some far off place. I watched life go by, never feeling safe enough to participate in things that I longed to enjoy. Joy was a foreign word to me. I cannot remember what it is like to be a child, to squeal in delight at some trivial thing. I never was able to make friends. I felt mute, as if I had no voice. I didn't want to be seen or heard, for fear that others would see the damge, the scars that made me different. I felt that shame was a bright shining mark on my face. Until 2003, I lived in a dark world.
Then I discovered I could write, and people actually like it! But the depression remained, smoldeing beneath the surface, and the memories seeped out, only to bubble forth in shocking clairity. Then I cried out for help, lest I die from depression and pain. My God drew me from the darkness and showed me the path to life! I would love to write and share thisin detail, but not yet. Healing has begun but still in the young stage. With God's loving help and my vivid imagination, I'm on the road to healing. For the first time, I feel alive!
Denise
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reaching out to hug you, in an attempt
to take away your pain,
for all that a wonderful woman like yourself
had ever suffered, in the hand of abusers
and for the courage to expose your hidden secrets
with your new found God Given weapon,
"The ability to write about it".
Peace & love be with you My dear friend
William
How evil and cruel some people are, to deeply hurt and scar a young child chills me to the bone. We all have our reasons for writing, and you are showing an inner depth and courage which nobody can ever take away from you.
Keep writing and healing Denise, you are a gifted soul.
Happiness from now on!!
Stuart, your friend in Australia