Article I wrote after I was asked the above question at the conclusion of the search for my birth family.

Search Worth It?

Having done a successful search for my birth family, but a not so positive reunion...I must say the journey was worth it!

I began my journey twenty-two yrs ago after suffering a heart attack at age thirty-one and having to answer the question from the doctors about family medical history with a, "I don't know."

Though I was placed for adoption at birth I ended up never being adopted, rather was flung around to three institutions and eleven foster homes before finding stability at Boys Town, Nebraska.

Though I was fortunate to have my birth mother's name from the start of my search it still took four long years of searching before she was located...it would take another four years before I found my birth father.

My birth mother was an alcoholic and still years after my birth continued her hatred for her father for forcing her to give me up for adoption. Her life had not been an easy one. I believe she also resented the fact that my life turned out better than anything she could have been able to offer me, a college education & a good career.

She had four more children after me. She did raise those children and was unable to offer them the opportunities I had been given.

My birth father ran when he found my birth mother was pregnant as he had done once before while serving in Germany during WWII. He had one more child after my birth.

Neither reunion was a positive one. After twelve years my birth mother gave me up a second time because I am gay. She wished I had never been born and that I would die rather than her having to bear the burden of being the mother to a gay son.

My birth father was always distant and cold. I only met with him once.

Both have since died.

My five half-siblings rejected me.

I share all this to let you know...despite all this...I find the journey was worth it and would do it over again.

I was able to thank my birth mother for at least giving me life and also thanked her for her decision to give me up the first time. Her decision was a wise one.

She also was able to provide the needed medical information.

She also provided just enough information for which I have after twelve more years of searching been able to locate extended family and spent my first Christmas with a number members of my "real family" in 2002.

I have also discovered my heritage and have been able to trace my great great grandparents roots back to Poland.

Yes, it took years of searching and yes, the reunions were not positive. They provided the answers I was looking for and finally answered the question of WHO AM I?

I went into the search expecting little to nothing to result...I found far more than I could have ever expected.

If you are considering a search you may have fears as you search, don't let them stop you...even if you end up with a rejection or a negative reunion...you will end up a far stronger person....I know I did.

Knowing what I know today...I would repeat the journey!