Humorous anecdotes about puberty, written vicariously from my mother’s point-of-view. She had a sheltered upbringing…

Training Bra--an item thrown to your eleven year old daughter through
a crack in your bedroom door, along with the  pronouncement of “Here!”, after which you slammed the door in embarrassment. She had been complaining about having to tuck her slip into her gym shorts.

Menstruation--a bodily process that you never mentioned and one your daughter learned about one year too late in Health and Hygiene class. Her self-diagnosis of some dreaded disease proved to be false after her older sister told her about the “birds and bees”.

Shaving--something your twelve year old daughter asked if she could do, because the others girls her age were shaving their legs. “Absolutely Not!” was your emphatic reply. She found a way around that. She learned about cream hair remover on a television commercial and used her allowance to buy it. After applying it to her legs, she left it on a few minutes longer to make sure it did the job. She still has the scars from the skin that was removed as well as hair.

Feminine Protection--something wrapped in a brown, unmarked paper wrapper by the manufacturer and hidden in the linen closet. It was stored behind the counter at the local grocer and you had to write your daughter a note so she could purchase it if she was under the age of eighteen.

Panty Hose--the first tangible evidence of “women’s liberation” and one which you forbade your daughter to wear, for fear she would grow up too fast. You finally relented when she was fourteen. She threw away her girdle and garters (which she called an archaic form of female torture) and read in Teen magazine that placing panty hose in the freezer would help them last longer-so she did. They didn’t.

Rollers--the empty frozen orange juice cans that your daughter set her hair with after applying a green jelly-like substance called Dippity Do. They were held in place with giant four-inch hair pins. This produced a very smooth, full and straight hair-do, as the “Mod” look was in. She looked like the bride of My Favorite Martian-a popular television show-and had to sleep sitting up. This was the one period in life where her straight hair was a boon, I suppose. Girls with naturally-curly hair ironed it straight. Some with a clothes iron!

Mini-skirts--trendy “Mod” fashion that started on the streets of London and made its way to America along with the British Invasion. Necessity being the mother of invention, they were the cause of pantyhose being invented, as these skirts were way too short(or it was the other way around, I don‘t remember). You forbade your daughter to wear them, as did the nuns at St. Patricks. The way around that was to roll the waistband of the uniform skirt up. The popular girls seemed to get away with it. Your daughter didn’t, which made you happy. The next year she went to public school(you prayed continually) but you found out they were just as strict, making girls in questionable skirts kneel on the floor so they could measure the length. Those whose skirts were shorter than one inch above the knee were then sent home to change.

Pierced Ears--another trend whereby holes were put in the ears so girls could then insert earrings such as “hoops”. Again, you displayed your disapproval. But your daughter’s best-friend took a sterilized sewing needle and a potato and pierced her ears. One day she came home from school and said one of her earrings had become entangled in another girl’s long hair and it had pulled it right out of her ear. She needed stitches. When will this girl learn to listen to her mother? The school initiated a ban on pierced earrings.

Bell-Bottom Jeans--this trend you really didn’t mind. At least a girl’s legs were covered and they reminded you of Jean Harlow pants--not as elegant mind you. By this time, you had mellowed a bit. Your eyes had seen assassinations and men walking on the moon. The high school administration forbade jeans, at least for females. You would support them to your daughter’s face, but secretly you knew she walked two and a half miles to school every day. Wearing a skirt made it a cold walk in the winter... One day your daughter and about 300 other students all wore jeans to school. The normal reaction to a female student wearing jeans was to send them home to change. But in this case the Principal called them into the library. Long story-short-those girls initiated the first steps for change in the school policy. You received the customary phone call from the school office and your daughter was sent home to change. But there were no angry words. You understood. And secretly you were proud.








L.G. Figgins © 2009