Overcoming shyness and boosting our self esteem.

When you're shy it's incredible to watch another person go up to a stranger and strike up conversation. They do it with such ease and comfort. You wonder what you're so afraid of.
Over and over you've seen it happen and still you hold back, withdraw and wait for the other person to make that first move. It all has to do with attitude. The frame of mind will make a big difference not only in the first impression you give another, but it also impresses upon yourself as well. With confidence you don't have to stop and do the panic questions. What will I talk about? What will I ask? Will they be pleasant? What if they don't speak back to me? On and on the questions rush through your mind until you take a deep breath and blow those questions out into the ethers.

A lot of that confidence can manifest if you play the pretend game. Try it just for fun. Pretend that the person you're approaching is someone you already know and is happy to see you. The friendliness will shine not only on your face but in the way you move and carry yourself as well. You will literally feel the energy change around you. It feels like a blanket of comfort just floats down upon the area you're focused upon. You must keep this attitude of
confidence and familiarity constant or it will be detected immediately and the walls can fly up quicker than the Berlin Wall came down.

The first time is always the most difficult. I think that applies to a lot of things. Once you're familiar with the other person's essence the conversation flows easier and there isn't that struggle for words. Both parties will know within the first two minutes of whether they wish to continue getting to know each other. Of course there are times when our first impressions aren't necessarily the right ones but it certainly does carry a lot of weight. After awhile we begin to realize we're meeting a lot of interesting people. Yes, there were a couple of people who didn't want to give you the time of day. But the majority of them were eager and pleased to share their life. That should be enough to convert us shy people into the extroverted crowd, shouldn't it?

I was talking to a friend online the other day. We've never met in person but we know each other very well and are good friends. He mentioned a quote from the book 'Conversations with God' by Neale Donald Walsch. It is a quote that struck a chord with me because it's such an easy way to deal with any situation. But I think it really applies to meeting people for the first time and getting away from this introverted state we believe we are. There are basically two choices we make whenever we make a decision. The choice either comes from the state of fear or the state of love. When you find yourself in a given situation and aren't sure how to respond ask yourself 'What would love do here?' we automatically know what to say or do. When we respond with fear as the focused emotion, it is aggressive, angry, and somewhat scattered. When you allow love to impress upon yourself, it bubbles outward to everyone you touch. Most of us know this because we've experienced it but we often forget or deny it.

So play the pretend game and allow the love within guide you to new friendships. When you feel your courage lacking remember you are responding with fear and fear can't harm you. This is your birthright. It's your freedom and responsibility as a human to create a harmonious atmosphere for us all to share in. Don't be afraid of what choices the other person will make. Choose your own choices and be willing to take a risk. And remember to give the other person that same right. It doesn't really matter if he/she won't acknowledge you. But you'll also notice when you gain this confidence and listen to your instincts, those gut feelings, you'll find an inner wisdom that never guides you anywhere you don't choose to go. Be bold, be courageous and you'll find you have more to offer than you ever imagined.