An experience from the trenches of the small press.

Ah... the stories we have from the small press. I remember I approached a man, let's call him Joey, who was starting a local arts magazine, let's call it Arts/Etcetera. I proposed an article, and he seemed enthused. He arrived at my rather proletarian flat on Ibbetson Street by way of BMW, and from one of the tony suburbs that surround my beloved burg. He was a slender, rather officious....may I say....effete young man, who made it clear that I should call him Joesph, instead of the pedestrian  Joe.  He looked around my apartment, his nostrils flaring in a thinly-veiled disgust, before we took off to interview THE POET, who resided in a neighboring city. Joesph, talked to me in a rather patronizing manner, as if I was a dim-witted servant, who needed special attention. We met THE POET, who was no slave to fashion,  had a taste for libations, and spoke in a non-linear fashion. All this annoyed Joseph .Joesph muttered his disapproval to me, and thusly started to instruct me about the art of interviewing, as the interview was in progress. Well I had a big hair across my...well you know, and I later offered Joseph my opinion of his mother and himself. Still, Joesph needed the story, and I agreed to write it for him, as long as I did not have to endure his physical presence now or any time in the future. I wrote up the interview, Joesph ran it ( aided by his cadre of  affected,black-cladded cronies), but he failed to give me any credit for the article. Joesph explained in his signature halting and haughty manner, " You have failed to live up to the standards of ARTS/Etcetera." I told him in no uncertain terms to go to that never-never underworld of no return, and went on with my life.

Some years later I was organizing a poetry reading for a prestigious art gallery in our community. I guess old Joesph got wind of it, and browsed my website, sending me an email marked " Trademark Infringement." I had used his magazine as a credit just to tweak him for his past indiscretions. Joesph told me that there should not be a slash between Arts/ Etcetera, and the problem should be addressed promptly. He not only sent the email to me, but  to my whole staff. We removed not only the slash, but the whole publication, explaining that a more "appropiate" publication would take ARTS/ETCETERA'S place. But Joesph was not finished. On my guestbook he wrote that he would be looking forward to attending my reading series at the said prestigious gallery. I asked "Joey" if he was the man who had (to put it indelicately), " put the screws to me," some years ago. He responded, " I am not the same man, but it seems you are."  I  told Joesph and I ask you dear reader,  " Why change a good thing?"  * Published in the Somerville News