SARAH
When Sarah and Jason first got together, they pictured themselves as the ‘neo couple’, a break away from the traditional household makeup. Sarah, being the top rising executive at her advertising firm servicing new accounts, would work and bring home the lion’s share of the bacon. Jason, being a master at pottery – he made some incredible pieces that sold almost instantly when he would sell them at various galleries, festivals, craft shows and flea markets in the DC area - was also a brilliant watercolor artist, and it was agreed he would stay home to perfect his craft and keep house.
They saw nothing wrong with this arrangement and Sarah would proudly boast that Jason was a ‘proud househusband’. This fed her desire to forge ahead in her career and ‘break the glass ceiling’, whereas he was free to use his artistic talents to make and sell his wares, along with giving him security as he attempted to move past the ‘starving artist’ stage and get real critical acclaim for his pieces. His plan was to eventually be at least an equal contributor to the family pocketbook.
Jason is an extremely handsome human creation, almost a dead-ringer for the singer Maxwell, with his strong chiseled features, tan skin and curly/nappy hair worn slightly long and natural. The way he walks is a sight to behold – sensuous, strong and confident, not cocky. However, unlike Maxwell, Jason could NOT hold a tune if you gave it to him in a bucket. He was talented in many other ways however, and it is in those areas Sarah reveled in him.
He knew how to make REAL love to her, and make her feel like a woman – a REAL woman, the way a woman should feel.
On a typical evening, they would sit, talk and laugh for hours, curled up on the couch or in the bed, after enjoying a nice dinner. They shared an incredibly strong bond and once they stopped talking and began looking dreamily into each other's eyes, the electricity in their bodies seemed to unknowingly draw them closer, until they kissed softly at first, licking and sucking each other's lips gently yet passionately, until they fall into a deep passionate kiss that sets their bodies on fire.
Jason would slip one hand under her silk blouse and find that she wasn’t wearing a bra, and her nipples would stand erect. He would be on top of her in an instant, kissing her, moving his fingers between her legs, feeling her wetness beneath her black skirt as he pressed his body against hers and made her feel his male hardness against her belly. His fingers would brush against her clit ever so slightly, and the sensation would make her back arch as moans slip from her lips. He would continue to gently stimulate her slippery clit, it felt SO GOOD to her!
He would then open her blouse and move his sweet lips to her breasts, gently suckling and pulling on her super-sensitive nipples with his lips and tongue – he KNEW how sensitive her nipples were, and this excited him even more. Jason would feel Sarah’s body begin to tremble as he brought her closer to climax – her nipples were just that sensitive! His lips and tongue eventually find their way down her stomach, to her navel, to her thighs before they find her clit. As he begins licking and sucking on it, he would feel her clit begin to harden and throb in his mouth as he feels her cum flow across his lips and down his chin. He would grab and hold tightly but tenderly to her hips as her body trembled and rocked in waves with each successive orgasm, as whimpers and moans of sheer ecstasy escape from deep within her throat…
Sarah has no doubt that he loves her. He’s always been loyal and faithful, and as much as her job keeps her away and on the go, there has never been a hint of unfaithfulness from him, ever – and he has always been an AMAZING lover. He’s a great friend, and is straight up with her at all times. He is not afraid to tell her that she’s wrong when she is wrong, and will always defend her and be her biggest ally when she’s right. Any suggestions he makes regarding her is always in her best interests, even when he knows she doesn’t want to hear it.
“You know you should not have shot Phaedra down like that, Boo,” chided Jason. “She is just saying what is on most people’s minds, they don’t understand our stance when it comes to our household. And that’s cool, people are entitled to their opinions.”
“She basically called you a lazy bum, and that infuriated me! She of ALL people should understand non-traditional societal roles, if anyone does. Her own family barely speaks to her because of her sexual preferences – or variety thereof, I should say. THAT’S what got to me!” exclaimed Sarah, relating last night’s events to Jason the following day.
“I know it sounded as if she were being hypocritical, especially in light of her situation, but it is perfectly understandable. Society conditions everyone’s ideals of what constitutes acceptable behavior to them. Just like her sexual preferences are not acceptable to YOU, our living arrangement is not acceptable to HER. You are being just as hypocritical assuming SHE should understand US. Do you get it now?” Jason remarked analytically.
“I never thought of it that way,” she answered, suddenly enlightened.
“Could the fact that YOU could be the object of her affections cloud your judgment toward her in this respect as well? Hell, I sometimes wonder if I should be jealous of HER!” exclaimed Jason. “She has a full-time job, is smart as hell being a college professor, and you wouldn’t have to work so hard if you were with her. She’s probably cute, too!”
Sarah just sat there, listened and said nothing, not very pleased with the way this conversation is going. Jason is still unaware of her growing displeasure with the current state of affairs, and this was nagging at the back of her mind. It seems he hasn’t worked on his pottery in almost a year, he rarely cleans or cooks anymore, and his drinking has increased. At one time during their very early courtship, he would never even touch alcohol, which is one of the things he now lacks that originally attracted her to him.
She had defended Jason to Phaedra, but perhaps she had a point. Sarah was tired of working like a dog only to end up treading water. She was growing tired of working so hard and this arrangement was beginning to get old. Jason used to be so ambitious about his projects and getting them done to display and sell, but the fire seems to have been replaced by complacency. Her discontent would turn into resentment if she didn’t do something about it now. After three and a half years like this, would Jason be open to getting a job? At least part-time? Sarah half-wondered, half-prayed.
“I am simply a starving artist who is desperately in love with you,” Jason continued, looking at her adoringly. “That is all I can give you at this point, my undying love. I’d say that is formidable competition.”
Sarah sat there for a moment, as if in deep thought, then cleared her throat. OK, here it goes… she thought to herself. I must be honest and true to myself above all else..
“Baby, I hate to say this, but perhaps Phaedra has a point,” Sarah finally said.
“What?” Jason said, in almost a whisper, staring at her with bewilderment in his eyes. He was in shock and disbelief at her words.
“Sweetheart, I really haven’t seen you do anything with your pottery or paints lately. You are such an incredible talent! Why are you letting it all go to waste?” she attempted to say affectionately, but the edge of her frustration seeped through. “Every day, when I come home, the house is a mess and I see you crumpled on a chair or on the sofa. I am at a loss wondering what you do here all day long. You have even taken to drinking now – what’s up with THAT?”
Jason was speechless. Her words just cut through him like a knife, and she was slowly twisting the dagger through his heart. Hadn’t I always been there for her? Jason thought to himself. Hadn’t I always been faithful to her, worshipped her like the Black Queen she is? Treated her as a Queen is supposed to be treated? Loved her as I have loved no other? Hadn’t I been her humble and willing servant? How can she be so hypocritical and say these things to ME? And NOW, after I just bared my soul and thoughts to her?
Jason is so crushed that he could barely stand any longer. His eyes glaze over, then well with tears. Just when I am about to ask her the ultimate question, ready to finally give over my heart and soul to my one true love, I hear this from her...
Sarah is watching him closely, and she cannot tell at this point exactly WHAT he is thinking or feeling. She DOES know – now – that she hurt him deeply, and she also knows she is scared as hell. She has NEVER seen him react this way – retreat and draw into a shell, tears streaming down his face, totally silent and in his own world. She remains silent, afraid to move or speak.
After a few silent moments, Jason finally seems to regain enough composure to turn and look her straight in the eye.
“I thought I was living a dream, and apparently I was. I thought that we were always on one accord, lived as one soul and I would have gladly given my life for you, in a heartbeat. You were right by my side, comforting me through the deaths of my parents and only brother in that car crash last year, and nursed me through much of my depression and despair. You were all I had, and I thanked God for you and our love. I still sat here when you were working, all alone, and thank the Father above for you – you would be home and be here, just for me. Of all the people on this earth, I thought YOU understood me, understood my needs, understood that I loved YOU – and only YOU – unconditionally, and that my life, my body and my soul was devoted only to you. I thought we defined our life and love on our terms, not anyone else’s, DAMN what society dictates. I gave you pure, unadulterated and unabashed love and friendship. I tried to show you every day of my life, through honest and heartfelt words and deeds, how much I truly loved and appreciated you. How I would gladly kiss the ground you walked on, worship the air you breathed – you were my earth, my moon, my heart.”
Then Jason stood up, and while wiping away his tears, and for the very first time since they have been together, his immense hurt fused with anger,
“And today, you give me your ass to kiss.”
Oh My God, what have I done? Sarah thinks to herself, but remains silent and very scared still.
Jason slowly walks to the closet of the guest bedroom and emerges with a wrapped package, about 15 inches tall, a few inches wide and very heavy. “Open it,” he demands, tears beginning to stream down his face again, but the look on his face is almost emotionless, but slight hints of anger sit at the corners of his lips.
She slowly unravels the paper on the package and reveals a black, shiny glazed sculpture of a beautiful woman, dressed in a long, flowing gown. On her arm she wore a sparkly, silvery object. It was a woman’s ring – a diamond and platinum engagement ring, to be exact. She sat there, staring, stunned.
“The statue of the woman is supposed to be YOU. I made that statue of you with my bare hands and my intense love for you in my heart, at the university craft studio. I didn’t want you to know that I was doing this, I wanted to surprise you. That ring was your engagement ring – I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, grow old with you, have my offspring by you, and have you help me nurture them into maturity. You were the soulmate I had been seeking all my life, and I wanted the world to know you were MY wife, for life.”
“How could you afford this ring? Where did you get the money for this?” Sarah gasped, still in shock and awe.
“Do you remember two weeks ago when I asked you to come with me for the reading of my parents’ will, the attorney had finally found it after all these months?” Jason began. “And your company had you fly to San Francisco the night before and you couldn’t accompany me? Well, it turned out that even though my parents didn’t have much, they did have a house and a $50,000 life insurance policy, and it was to be split evenly between me and my brother. Patrick died along with them, so I am the only living beneficiary in their will. So I now possess a house and the money – both of which I planned to surprise and share with YOU at dinner tomorrow night – and finally have you spend some time with ME, take time off and not have to work so hard. On top of that, I was going to ask you to MARRY me, be my wife for life, let you relax for once.”
“It seems that I am the one who got the REAL surprise, huh Darlin’?”
With that statement, Jason took the statue and the ring gingerly out of Sarah’s hands. He removed the ring, and while staring at her, tears streaming down his face, with hurt and fury burning in his eyes, he dropped the ring in his shirt pocket. He then took the statue, kissed and stroked it tenderly, then threw it with all his might against the stone wall on the other side of the room, shattering the statue into a million sharp bits and shards on the other side of the room, littering the carpet below.
Sarah watched this whole scene in silent shock, brokenhearted, disoriented and terrified as to what he would do next.
Jason turned toward Sarah. Immense hurt, pain, disappointment and disillusionment shone on his tear-stained face. He stared at her a long moment. “We’ve wasted our time with each other, Sarah. If you could say those words to me, then you never really knew me. I am sorry for that. Good-bye, Sarah,” he said, and started walking toward the door, tears streaming down his face once again.
“NO JASON! WAIT, PLEASE! I DO LOVE YOU, I ALWAYS HAVE LOVED YOU!” screamed Sarah as she rushed to stop Jason from leaving. She reached him, threw her arms around him and started crying uncontrollably.
Jason turned back toward her. “Mere words do not affect me. But the context in which they are given certainly does. And the message from you was VERY clear. In effect, you believe I am a lazy bum who does nothing for you. You took care of me as if I were some sort of pet, and you derived very little pleasure or meaning out of it. You flipped the script somewhere along the line and did not tell me Darlin’, and you left my ass flapping in the wind, pretending everything is all right and living in my own fantasy world. Tell me I am wrong about what you were thinking. Tell me!”
“Jason...” she started to say, but she couldn’t say a thing. He was absolutely right.
“And I refuse to marry a woman who feels that way about me. Now take your hands off me and let me go,” said Jason, a hint of venom in his voice.
Sarah was taken aback, and she knew he meant it, so she reluctantly let him go. He turned, began walking away and she watched helplessly from her doorway as he finally disappeared from view.
She could hear the silence as her heart broke in a million little pieces, falling to the very depths of her being, as her future had just done against her living room wall.
Copyright .2006, RM Green
Regis
Good work. I look forward to reading much more from you.
Tami